It would be too easy to say ‘down with this sort of thing’ but we’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore.
Everyone loves tradition but sometimes you just have to say ‘up with this I will not put.’
There are certain GAA rituals that I love.
The Gresham Hotel the morning of an All-Ireland final. The national anthem being played before any major match, club or county.
Even the Sunday Game has a sense of familiarity that you only get from that favourite fleece you bought back in 2003 at Oxegen. And we all remember how people went buck-ape when they tried to change the theme tune.
But certain elements of the GAA really need to be consigned to the scrapheap, and we’ve drawn up a list of five that we feel would not be missed.
A homecoming for the losing All-Ireland finalists
@SportsJOEdotie YES. It's not fair on them, sure the last thing they want after losing is to be paraded around the place!
— Rob Williams (@Rob__Williams79) September 7, 2015
What is the purpose of having a homecoming for a team that just over 24 hours ago lost the biggest game of their lives?
Those in favour will say that it is for the supporters to show their appreciation for the efforts during the year, and that might be a fair point.
But honestly, has anyone ever ‘enjoyed ‘ a losing homecoming, be it players or fans?
https://twitter.com/JayDYBJay/status/640885221974503424
A SportsJOE reader made the point that the 2012 homecoming for Galway was wonderful despite the loss to Kilkenny. And I know why it may have been a joyous occasion. The county had won a Leinster title and pushed the Cats all the way in two finals. There was a sense that maybe Galway were just 12 months away from kicking on and winning Liam McCarthy.
Instead of bringing players out on a platform in a stadium, there could be a function for supporters and the team, and those supporters who want to meet the players and thank them for their efforts can do so the night of the game, or the night after.
It would save everyone the awkward feeling of standing in the middle of a pitch trying to cheer up players who would rather be staring at a pint than looking at sad faces at the GAA equivalent of a ‘pity party’.
The PA system in Croke Park.
If you are in the Hogan Stand for any game in Croke Park then your ears could be variously assaulted by Rita Ora or PJ Murrihy.
We all appreciate when Gerry Grogan comes on to tell us there is a ‘sssssubstitution’, but there is no need for supporters to be berated by incredibly loud music before the game.
If you are in an All-Ireland semi-final or final the atmosphere takes care of itself. You don’t need ‘The Script’ to tell you that the game means a lot to everyone.
There is something exciting about coming into a ground where the only sound you hear is of the crowd and the buzz of people chatting about the game and settling in for the match.
Music is played at every county ground but sometimes we’d rather it wasn’t.
@CrokePark @officialgaa whose idea to drown out the crowd and atmosphere with puke inducing music? #AllIrelandShcFinal #CrokePark #GALvKIL
— Chris Campbell (@kyambell) September 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/pmurphy2112/status/640483655115251712
Winning managers going into losing dressing rooms
This whole palaver kicked off earlier this year when Tyrone and Tipperary clashed in the All-Ireland U21 final. The game was an ill-tempered affair and afterwards Tipperary refused to allow Tyrone manger Fergal Logan into the dressing room to speak to to the losers.
And who would blame them? What player enjoys being patronised for ‘giving it a lash and coming up short’.
https://twitter.com/Jamwall7/status/640941305514868736
Mick O’Dwyer came into the Cork dressing room eight years in a row to tell Billy Morgan and co that ‘they were the second best’ team in Ireland and that Kerry would see them again next year in the Munster championship.
How many times has Brian Cody entered a Tipperary or Galway dressing room at this stage and how does he try and think of something new to say each time?
It’s awkward for mangers and very awkward for players. If the winning manger doesn’t go into a dressing room it will help stop a losing manager having to make the awkward journey down the corridor too.
The three cheers
Maybe if Jackie Tyrrell was giving the speech we might all sit up and listen but generally a captain’s speech after winning finals is a pretty poor affair.
All most people are hoping for these days are a few swears to liven it up, or maybe a really rousing delivery to fire the passion a la Joe Connolly in 1980.
Instead the captain is forced to patronise the losing team by offering a balm for their gaping wounds with a ‘three cheers’ for having come close to winning.
Could any men, or women sound less enthused at saying ‘hip hip,’ than people with a microphone in one hand and a gleaming piece of silver in the other?
Check out the stony faces on the Mayo players after the 2012 All-Ireland Final when Michael Murphy metaphorically pats them on the head?
Up For The Match
There can’t be a person left in Kilkenny at this stage who hasn’t been on Up For The Match at least once in their lives.
The show, which is meant to set the scene for the All-Ireland final, is usually populated by cutesy kids and some auld lad that first went to a final in 1887 and has all the tickets stubs since to prove it.
Grainne Seoige and Des Cahill are well meaning but the show is just one-cringe fest from beginning to end.
Are these actual Kilkenny and Galway people or did ye just put jerseys on the Winning Streak crowd #upforthematch
— Oisin Langan (@oisinlangan) September 5, 2015
Jaysus it's only just started but already im changing. Up for the match should just be scrapped.
— Liam Aherne (@laherne84) September 5, 2015
Ahead of the football final we will have the usual Kerry and Dublin heads pulled out from 40 years ago.
RTE really could do with providing a serious preview show with some actual analysis instead of having a dog dressed in a jersey to provide the entertainment as the atmosphere leaks out of studio after yet another Nathan Carter performance of Wagon Wheel.
It’s a case of ratings do lie.
