John Carver forces dictatorship-like media lockdown on Newcastle to avoid relegation

The self-confessed best coach in the Premier League is ruling over his side with an iron fist.

Carver's Newcastle United are in the throes of a relegation battle at the moment and recent results haven't been helping matters. After losing 2-1 to the already relegated QPR at the weekend, Carver has had to result to extreme measures to ensure that Newcastle avoid the drop to the Championship. Speaking at the post-match press conference on Saturday, Carver revealed he want his players to keep away from pretty much every media platform until the season's end.

"What we have to do is manage the situation. I will have a chat with them and try to keep them away from the press, as in watching TV, reading papers or going online." "We have to try to keep it as low-key as we can in that sense but try to keep them as focused as possible and do as much preparation as we can.”

A blanket ban on the internet? That's given us visions of Fabricio Coloccini having his captain's armband revoked for getting caught sneakily watching cat videos on his tablet. Hat-tip to The Telegraph