Premier League stickers, the only reality where swapping Bosko Balaban for Thierry Henry was considered a fair trade.
We’ve all squandered our entire life savings of pocket money (which usually amounted to a couple of weeks worth) on packets of those priceless little rectangles of paper gold in our youth.
Nothing filled our young hearts with more joy than happening upon a sticker we needed to fill another space in our precious book. It was another small step towards completing the Sisyphean task of filling every empty square in the album.
Although, more often than not we came up short, in the words of Arthur Ashe, “the doing is often more important than the outcome”.
To give you the opportunity to relive the glory days of your childhood, we’ve collated the Merlin stickers of 21 Irish internationals, past and present. There might be a few missing, but that’s just to give you the authentic Premier League sticker book experience.
Roy Keane
The most unsettling grin in football history.
Damien Duff
Varying degrees of seriousness.
Jason McAteer
In the 90s, McAteer was this close to becoming the sixth member of Boyzone. He still holds a grudge against Mikey Graham to this very day.
Robbie Keane
The only thing that changed down the years was that the jerseys got progressively tighter.
Richard Dunne
If the pose ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Clinton Morrison
He almost achieved a serious demeanour in 2004… almost.
Dennis Irwin
A haircut you could set your watch to.
Gary Doherty
Believe it or not, Gary Doherty was always roughly 35-years-old.
John O’Shea
When John O’Shea likes a hairstyle, he really commits to it.
Andy Townsend
Forced to leave Villa after the local wildlife began nesting in his mane.
Kenny Cunningham
Definitive proof that Kenny Cunningham once had a full head of hair.
Lee Carsley
Definitive proof that Lee Carsley did not.
Stephen Carr
Hi fledgling career as a Head & Shoulders model was sadly cut short in 2002.
Steve Staunton
Found being back in a Liverpool jersey an incredibly confusing ordeal altogether.
Gary Breen
Could never settle on one jersey.
Shay Given
If you have all of the Lifford man’s stickers, you were probably too old to be buying stickers.
Phil Babb
The gift of the Babb.
Graham Kavanagh
It’s worth pointing out there’s a decade between these two photos being taken.
Ian Harte
It took him a solid six seasons to work out the punchline of that joke you told him. He remembered it again at Sunderland.
Mark Kennedy
Mark Kennedy had fun once, and it was awful.
Niall Quinn
Just happy to be here.
A very special thanks to the wonderful people at Topps Football for supplying the fantastic images.