To be a mixed martial arts champion, one would imagine that you’d have to go through a little bit of pain.
Chris Weidman has gone 13-0 since his 2009 debut, capturing the UFC middleweight title from the greatest 185 lber of all time so he’s taken some bumps and bruises in the octagon.
But it’s outside the cage where Weidman suffered his most horrific injury of all.
“I became a UFC fighter,” he told the Huffington Post, “but the worst thing that comes into my head instantly is my penis getting caught in my zipper.”
The All-American went on to explain how the paramedics went about remedying every man’s worst nightmare.
“Then they cut my jeans off completely, to where the only things left are the zipper and me naked — including all my teachers and principals, everyone looking at me when I’m naked,” Weidman said.
“Then they put me on the stretcher, and of course the bell rings in the school, so everybody comes out of their classes and I’m going out on the stretcher, and everyone’s like, ‘What’s wrong with him?’ I’m like, ‘Nothing!'”
Boys being boys, Weidman’s brother went on to tell the whole school that Chris’ penis had been severed in the accident.
“So until I was in sixth grade, everyone thought I had no penis,” he said. “The fact that everybody thought I had no penis, I kind of took that hard. So in sixth grade, I was just kind of whipping it out everywhere, just, like, ‘Look at me, I have one!'”
That’s probably the only scenario which we find acceptable to start flashing your penis. Flash away, Chris. Flash away.
