This is how much being champion meant to Ronda Rousey.
The previously undefeated bantamweight champion lost her title in brutal circumstances when she was knocked out by Holly Holm at UFC 193 last November.
Rousey has remained relatively quiet ever since, taking time out to recover from her injuries and gameplan for her return to the octagon.
‘Rowdy’ broke that silence on The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Tuesday when she revealed the deep depression into which she fell following that defeat.
In tears, Rousey said: “I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself and that exact second I’m like ‘I’m nothing, what do I do anymore and no one gives a shit about me anymore without this.’
“To be honest, I looked up and I saw my man Travis was standing up there and I looked up at him and I was like, I need to have his babies. I need to stay alive.”
The man to whom Rousey is referring is UFC heavyweight Travis Browne, who she has been seeing since last year.
Rousey, whose father committed suicide when she was a child, also admitted that she can barely remember the bout.
“In that first hit I cut open my whole mouth and I knocked my teeth loose,” she said.
“I felt like I almost couldn’t see,” Rousey continued. “Like I could see but I couldn’t tell how far my hand was from my face or how far she was from me.
“When you sit and you’re not moving and you’re still aware where your body is, that’s like a part of your brain that’s telling you where you are in space. It was like that kind of turned off.
“I was swinging blindly, I knew she was out there but I really don’t remember most of it.”
Word from both Rousey’s camp and the UFC is that the former champion won’t be ready in time for this summer’s UFC 200 but that she would be able to compete at some stage in November or December.
