The cringe-inducing, stomach-turning final two minutes of ITV’s commentary IN FULL

“I’m getting carried away with myself.”

ITV commentators Sam Matterface and Lee Dixon, just about managed to keep it together during the 90 minutes between England and Denmark.

However, when Raheem Sterling went down after a tackle that had as much impact as your contactless debit card tapping the bartenders machine on a night out, they lost the complete run of themselves.

Unbiased commentary is something we are used to when watching England, but this was a whole new level. With an entire half of extra time still to be played they spent the next 15 minutes spitting out the most incoherent declaration of love you will ever hear.

After Harry Kane missed a penalty, but scored on the rebound, it took took Matterface less than two minutes before he started prophesying about playing Italy on Sunday’s final.

“Just keep your shape, keep your discipline and see it out, this last 15 minutes. There’s a lot of football to played though, I’m getting carried away with myself.

“We have got a final on Sunday, at the moment, that England are heading too.

“Scenes, absolute scenes.”

When the ball went out of play and they replayed Sterling’s dive that led to the penalty, you can’t say that Lee Dixon wasn’t honest as he more or less applauds the act of cheating from the Manchester City winger.

“It doesn’t look like he’s made an awful lot of contact but I don’t care, I have to say it.”

No Dixon, you didn’t have to say it. Imagine if it was the other way around?

The English press would be claiming that the game has gone into disarray, that they’ve been robbed and no doubt we will see petitions signed, calling for a rematch on the basis of an unfair decision.

With two minutes left on the clock, Sam Matterface went into overdrive and genuinely started telling the nation not to go to work in a bizarre rant, claiming that the English deserve this for some reason.

“It is the finishing line that they can see in the distance, the very near distance. 90 seconds from another landmark moment for England and for Gareth Southgate who called for leadership from his team.

“He called for new history to be made, new hurdles to be jumped.

“I tell you what if this comes off, you can do what you want tonight, you had a terrible 16 months, kids you can stay up, don’t dare go to bed.

“The rest of you call your boss, you ain’t coming in in the morning. You deserve this, England deserve this. Feel it, ride it, all of that outpouring of pent up emotion is just 50 seconds away.

“Just try and be safe and follow the rules, otherwise I’m going to be in one hell of a load of trouble.

“If you thought the atmosphere was frantic against Germany, you wait until the full time whistle.

“One additional minute, we have played  25 seconds of it. Southgate has trusted Kane, he’s gone with Sterling, he’s changed the shape, he’s picked more right backs than centre forwards.

“He trusted players who had experience, but they were carrying injuries. He has answered all of his critics, with shrude choices, 15 seconds and them it’s the ultimate test, on Sunday under the arch, against Italy, in a final.

“An actual final!

“They’ve done it, they’ve only gone and done it.”

We think people will be streaming everywhere for Italian commentary on Sunday, it may be in a different language but let’s face it, it will make just as much sense.

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