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Football

01st Feb 2017

West Ham take drastic Goal of the Month measures after Andy Carroll’s wonder-strike

You can only get away with this sort of thing once

Tom Victor

Sometimes a goal is so good that nothing even comes close.

The awards are wrapped up before the nominees are even named.

In fact, what’s the point of even having nominees. You know the winner. We know the winner. Why waste everyone’s time.

The above is what we assume went through the heads of West Ham United’s social team as soon as Andy Carroll’s acrobatic volley flashed past Crystal Palace goalkeeper Wayne Hennessey and hit the back of the London Stadium net.

Carroll’s strike was so good that the club used it to replace the Dimitri Payet mural in an effort to expunge all memory of the Frenchman who probably wasn’t even that good to begin with and definitely didn’t hurt people’s feelings by leaving.

But what happens when a mural isn’t enough? That’s right, you find another way of showing just how good that goal was. How it’s definitely better than that Payet goal against Middlesbrough in October. How you don’t even remember that goal, such was its un-remarkability.

How you definitely didn’t call it a wonder-goal at the time. How you definitely didn’t replay it on your website from nine different angles to demonstrate just how great it was.

Anyway, where were we?

Oh, right, Andy Carroll.

West Ham announced the nominees for January’s goal of the month award today, and…well, just see for yourself.

We feel a little sorry for Manuel Lanzini too, but needs must.

Just imagine if the club had played last night, when it was still January, and scored then too. Imagine how much longer the apology would have had to be.

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