We are all Jon Walters.
And, we’re sorry Mr Breen, but this summer we’re all dreaming of a team of Jonnie Walters.
Number one, it’s Jon Walters. Number two, it’s Jon Walters. Number three – you know the rest.
It seems that Ireland fans aren’t the only ones dreaming of that perfect team though. The Guardian are too.
The man with the best back in football, the man who plays in nine different positions all at once for his country and the nation’s leading goalscorer through a special, special qualifying campaign is being recognised all over at long last.
Yes, Jon Walters mania is universal now.
The most underrated man in football – @ConanDoherty's ode to the hero that is @JonWalters19 http://t.co/XYDApdEK18 pic.twitter.com/g6sCPY5c4X
— SportsJOE (@SportsJOEdotie) October 10, 2015
…bolts of lightning from my arse ⚡️⚡️😂😂 https://t.co/Bd2JeeNp8C
— Jonathan Walters (@JonWalters19) October 10, 2015
But if you can go overboard on Walters loving – and we’re still not sure if you can – The Guardian are guilty and then some.
Yes, he’s a God amongst men. Yes, he’s the country’s most important player headed for France. And, yes, he’s a superhero.
So my cousin was asked to go to school as a superhero today, he chose Super @JonWalters19. New kit for @stokecity? pic.twitter.com/cK2jRLv28N
— topher knowles (@topherknowles) November 13, 2015
But there are other members of the Republic of Ireland squad too. Not that The Guardian’s Euro 2016 coverage would testify to that.
No, they’re dreaming of a 23-man squad comprised solely of Jon Walters. And it is a beautiful thing.
Suddenly, Ireland are favourites to win the thing.
