Is this a competition now?
Why is football so shockingly bad at player likenesses in statue form? With all the money sloshing about in the modern game, you’d think they could hire the finest sculptors on the planet. But no, it’s more like the lass in that Lionel Richie video.
First we had Cristiano Ronaldo’s malformed bronze bust in his native Madeira, which looks far more like the stone head fella from Art Attack…
Then there was the Mexico ’86 era Diego Maradona, immortalised as someone’s nan holding up the last half-price bottle of TRESemmé nourish & replenish conditioner…
And now we’ve got this monstrosity to pay tribute to Lyon, Chelsea and Real Madrid legend Michael Essien.
The 35-year-old boasts 58 caps for his beloved Ghana, and the nation chose to pay tribute to one of their most famous sons with this strange looking erection in the capital city of Accra.
As you can see, poor Essien’s face looks more like a robotic version of Grace Jones, whilst he’s been given what looks like a midget’s bottom half.
As for the contorted pose he’s in, we’re not sure that’s physically possible. And if it is, it probably belongs on Broadway rather than the football pitch.
Ah well, it’s the thought that counts…
