If you thought Man United fans had it in for City/Liverpool/Arsenal/Chelsea supporters, you should see how they treat their own.
Whether at the pub or on social media, the number of burning issues that have the fans constantly in-fighting is endless. Here are just a few of the topics that have fellow Red Devils at each other’s throats…
Booing
- Booing is the lowest of the low. You support your team through thick and thin. F*ck off and ‘support’ another club instead of acting the spoilt brat at Old Trafford.
- We pay our money and have every right to express our unhappiness, otherwise Van Gaal thinks everyone’s happy with the yawn-fest he serves up every game.
Louis van Gaal
- He has got to go. Regardless of the results, the lack of goals and attacking play goes against everything the club stands for. Watching United is as dull as f*ck these days.
- He has done a great job of stabilising the club. There’s a solid defensive foundation to build on. The final piece of the jigsaw is the attack, and he’ll sort that just like he did the rest of the team.
Jurgen Klopp
- Like it or not, we’d love Jurgen Klopp at Old Trafford. His fast-paced, attacking style would be ideal for United. Admit it – we dropped a major b*llock not going for him.
- Get your head out of Klopp’s arse. It’s been 12 games – including 2 defeats. Try not to get swept along by the media’s Scouse lovefest just yet. Let’s see where they are come May.
Wayne Rooney
- He’s finished. Gets paid a fortune each week and contributes f**k all. We’d be running away with the league if we had a decent striker instead of the useless lump upfront. Get rid.
- Have some respect. He is 12 goals away for being the club’s leading goalscorer of all time. Of course his form has been poor but you don’t slag off one of your own. He’ll be back.
Ryan Giggs
- Can’t wait for Giggsy to take over as manager. He totally gets the club and what it’s about – youth, excitement and attacking football. He could be our own Pep Guardiola.
- Don’t be taken in by all the ‘Class of 92’ romantic bullsh*t. His CV is blank. Klopp goes to Liverpool, City get Guardiola, and we take a punt on a managerial novice? F**k that.
Memphis Depay
- Nani Mark II, this lad. Easily the most frustrating player in the squad. He’s done nothing to justify a starting place and doesn’t even bother putting a proper shift. Sh*te attitude.
- Give him a break. We’re always going about developing young players, but as soon as we sign one, he’s slated after a few months. He’ll come good given a bit of patience and trust.
Paul Scholes
- It’s funny, isn’t it – you never used to hear a peep out of him when he was playing, but now you can’t shut him up. He’s got in it for Van Gaal and uses every opportunity to have a pop.
- Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and especially a club legend like Scholesy. He’s only unhappy because he cares about the club and the direction it is heading in.
The Glazers
- Are people still having a go at the Glazers? We’ve enjoyed one of the most successful periods in the club’s history under their ownership, and they’re backing the manager with funds.
- Are you having a laugh? The club continues to pay out hundreds of millions to service the debt they lumbered the club with. Any success has been in spite of their ownership, not because of it.
Fan hierarchy
- United’s international following is what makes the club great. Everyone’s opinion is valid whether they’re from Stretford or Somalia. It’s not about where you happen to be born.
- F**k that sh*t. Some of these kids haven’t got a clue. There are Twitter-famous bloggers out there who’ve never even been to Old Trafford writing about the club like they’re experts.
Biggest rivals
- Man City – easy. If you were from Manchester, you’d understand. They hate us and have been bitter about our success for years. Now they’re lording it over us because of their petro-billions.
- Give over. It’s Liverpool all the way. The Scousers detest us and the feeling is mutual. They’re our biggest rivals in terms of size, success, history and geography. And then it’s Leeds.
