The only way to look back is with rose-tinted glasses
The finest export from County Louth since Pierce Brosnan packed his bags and left his accent behind, Steve Staunton celebrates his 46th birthday today. A legend on the pitch for The Boys In Green and tactical string-puller of the country’s greatest friendly win in Copenhagen, SportsJOE felt it was only proper to pay tribute.
There are so many ways to love Stan but here are some of our favourites:
1. His title-winning start to Liverpool life
After a spell on loan with Bradford City, young Staunton broke into the Liverpool team in 1988. He won an FA Cup in 1990 and claimed a league winners’ medal the following season before Graeme Souness unwisely moved him on.
2. Goal from corner kick against Northern Ireland
3. ‘The best left foot you’ve ever seen in your life’
Big Jack Charlton pays tribute to the man who invented the Hollywood pass/punt: Even Peter Schmeichel couldn’t keep this out: …While we’re at it, check this belter out against Crystal Palace: … and this sublime, traction engine effort against QPR. Ping!
4. Italia ’90, USA ’94 and World Cup 2002 heroics
Ireland conceded three goals in 480 minutes of action at Italia ’90, with Staunton solid at left-back. He was of the Paul McGrath-inspired team that shut out Italy in 1994 – marauding up and down the left wing all day. Reverted to centre-back for his final World Cup finals appearance in 2002.
5. He kept a clean-sheet during his second spell at Liverpool
After Sander Westerveld was sent off for fighting with Franny Jeffers, Staunton donned the goalkeeper’s kit and gave Liverpool a fighting chance against Everton. He repelled three dangerous attacks and kept a clean-sheet but the Toffees were already 1-0 up and won out. 
6. Almighty balls-up against Holland before WC 2002
Ireland beat The Netherlands 1-0 to set themselves up for a third World Cup tilt but there were nervous moments along the way. This Staunton hash was made famous by George Hamilton’s superb, jinx-ridden commentary. ‘This shouldn’t be a problem for the defence… oh… Oh no!’
7. This cap
8. Retiring with 102 international appearances
He played for Ireland over 15 seasons, hit a century of appearances during the Japan/South Korea World Cup and bowed out with 102 appearances and seven goals. He is the only Irish player to play at three World Cups. Not bad going.
9. I’m the gaffer
Stan attempted to assert his managerial authority as FAI appointed him, as new Ireland manager, alongside everyone’s favourite footballing uncle, Bobby Robson.
He declared, ‘I’m the boss. I’m the gaffer and, at the end of the day, what I say, goes. I will use Bobby in whatever role I see fit.’
10. Some of the greatest soundbites of all time
Asked by some RTE spin doctor (no doubt), about his tactical plans for an upcoming game, Staunton quipped, ‘Well, Shay Given in goal, four at the back, four in midfield and two up front.’
Queried by Ken Early about Given being like a second captain to the team, Staunton sighed loudly and declared, ‘First captain, second captain, whatever.’
11. He recalled Lee Carsley before eventually seeing sense
12. Andorra are a tough team…
As the shit tornadoed towards the fan, and critics queued up to kick Staunton and his misfiring team, the Dundalk native began to paint every opponent as world-beaters. Both Andorra and San Marino, who resided well outside the world ranking top 100, were talked up as ‘tough sides to beat’, ‘no pushovers’ and ‘dangerous’.
13. His refusal to ever back down
The curtain came down on his international tenure with a limp draw at home to Cyprus – the same side that had stuffed Ireland 5-2. Euro 2008 qualification had been dead, and floating, in the water long before that. Staunton would be gone within a week but, following the game, came out swinging. ‘I can’t pass the ball for them,’ he declared as he questioned his team’s desire, or lack thereof.
14. He was this close to getting the Chelsea job
FM 104 called up Chelsea’s Peter Kenyon in 2009 and, with the club seeking a new manager, got the chief executive to take his call. ‘Stan’ was told to post in his CV. We can only assume they’re keeping it on file until the right moment arises.
