Being a famous sporting figure has its perks.
You get to earn money playing sport while enjoying the adulation of millions – a life most of us can only dream of.
Then when you hang up your bat/boots/racquet/cue/clubs you often get to move into the media and report on the sport you spent years playing.
But it turns out it’s not all plain sailing when you’re in the public eye.
After cricket commentator Jonathan Agnew was handed an MBE in the New Year’s Honours, he made a plea to someone who has been “corresponding” with him for the past decade…
https://twitter.com/Aggerscricket/status/815147023120928768
Then Gary Lineker piped up with an intriguing detail…
@brianmoore666 let me guess; sent from a Bath postcode?
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) December 31, 2016
https://twitter.com/Aggerscricket/status/815164038581809156
https://twitter.com/Aggerscricket/status/815164373366951936
yes for donkey's years. Some nutters out there.
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) December 31, 2016
Agnew then roped in former Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan…
https://twitter.com/Aggerscricket/status/815168932021682176
… Before Lineker reveals he gets the packages much more frequently than Agnew – every single month, in fact.
goes back almost 20 years for me. Once a month. Disgusting.
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) December 31, 2016
on a positive note, at least it shows my bowel movements are regular..
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) December 31, 2016
The Match of the Day host even has a theory as to why he’s been receiving them:
haha. Always thought it was my punishment for Italia 90. Shat on loo roll.
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) December 31, 2016
So, the culprit lives in, or has access to a post box in Bath, and seems to have a particular grudge against Lineker and Agnew.
But how many other ex-sports stars are being sent the same thing by the mystery poo enthusiast?
Please, if you’re a former athlete now working as a pundit for the BBC and you have received similar parcels in the post, then throw them out.
