The 54 people you’ll find in every single Irish gym

1. The talker 2. The barefoot guy Because only a fool would do a deadlift with their shoes and socks on. 3. The sleazy gym instructor 4. The screamer https://instagram.com/p/2EQE9jvhFr/?taken-by=hardyards55 5. The weight slammer https://twitter.com/Gym__Monkey/status/593448942400098304 6. The GAA guy https://twitter.com/LeitrimLad1/status/593474004935188481 7. The guy who used to play GAA Dragging himself away from an afternoon carryout to stick on the old county minor jersey with number 11 at the back to sit on the bike and talk about tonight's antics. 8. The poser The sort of guy who takes his top off at a concert when it's raining because he hasn't worked all year not to show all of this off. 9. The guy who tells you you're doing it wrong 10. The technique freak https://twitter.com/PowerLiftingJoe/status/593472688141762561 11. The guy wearing tights 12. The hot girl everyone is staring at 13. The soccer guy Flat out. 14. The guy who does one rep for Instagram Yeah, yeah, you're telling us you've just killed six reps at 150kg but why are you only showing us one? 15. The guy trying to take a picture of himself in the mirror We all need evidence that we were at the gym. 16. The counting exhaler Because everyone should hear how many reps you're doing. 17. The guy who discovers a punch bag and now thinks he's a lethal weapon 18. The guys who are suddenly MMA experts https://instagram.com/p/2ENZXEvhOb/ 19. The shadow boxer soul searching at the mirror 20. The gym instructor just hanging around to talk to people ... and to let people know he's a gym instructor, of course. 21. The equipment junkie How can you expect to lift things without the right look? A footballer couldn't play football without... shin pads. 22. The guy who struts around after every set You've marked your territory, but your territory needs to be bigger. 23. The guy who changes the music You are the only person in the world. https://twitter.com/GymJunkiePT/status/577505489082277889 24. The girl who's best friends with the gym instructors Nothing else matters anymore. 25. The greatest spotter in the history of spotting https://twitter.com/Gym__Monkey/status/593461675250036736 26. The guys who are making friends Oh, friends. 27. The guy absolutely pelting uphill on the treadmill There's just not enough space in the outside world. 28. The guy who thinks he's living in 8 Mile 29. The guy who stares at everyone Time between sets can be a long ol' jaunt. Some people use it to prowl, some people use it to look at themselves and some losers use it to recover. Others, they use it to stare at every single person daring to move in their vicinity. The guy doing pull-ups will never get off lightly from the death stare. 30. The guy who doesn't need to be there https://twitter.com/Gym__Monkey/status/593458511603957760 31. The singer Please. Don't be that guy. 32. The guy who's permanently ready for a fight He's at war with weights. What he's doing is more important than you. 33. The guy who knows an instructor And it's his job to make everyone in the world know that he knows. He'll be found at one side of the gym shouting across countless people to the other side something shit like, "No pump today, Matt? You're good to yourself!" Because that just couldn't wait. 34. The skipping guy in everyone's way 35. The guys who trust no-one Will be found lugging around their kit bags from machine to machine. 36. The guy lifting too much always asking for a spot https://instagram.com/p/2ER2RrPhJj/?taken-by=hardyards55 37. The lingerer 38. The social guys The gym's better when you're not sweating. Also found in the form of a group of girls stretching. 39. The improvisers It would be too embarrassing to have to read the instructions or ask someone, so make up your own exercise and pretend like this was all part of the plan. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zKl_JbnsEI&feature=youtu.be 40. The guy who sees more than just a pull-up bar 41. The guy with food There was just no time to consume this before or after the gym. It's now or never. The same guy will generally find time to post an after-gym meal picture on all social media platforms. #Gains #Bulk #GoHardOrGoHome 42. The 6.30 club "Okay, lads, let's get to work." *Everyone reaches for camera phone to tell the world that they are up an hour earlier today.* 43. The MMA bully https://twitter.com/PowerLiftingJoe/status/593466577695219712 44. The texter 45. The guy filling his water holding the show up 46. The injured guy constantly doing rehab 47. The guy with a piece of string for a vest Showing your pecs just isn't enough if your nipples are not visible. 48. The bluffer 49. The rugby guys They lift more than you. 50. The guy who changes the weight before he leaves a station 51. The guy pulling a sex face 52. The guys heading out tonight looking for a pump 53. The entourage Because you couldn't lift a weight without six people screaming at you to do so. 54. The 'I'm using that' guy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHk0oHkj9VU&feature=youtu.be Very special thanks to Bogdan Merkes of MerkesPerformance.com for the use of his top conditioning facilities and, of course, to Darragh Murphy for his splendid acting skills.