“Business Interests”.
The two words that shocked the rugby world last night, as Mr Dreamboat Steve Walsh hung up his whistle, and called time on a genuinely interesting career, which is more than you can say for the majority of rugby referees.
From on-field run ins with players and team officials, to being sacked by the New Zealand Rugby Union after being drunk at a referee’s conference (and let’s face it, who could blame him for that), Walsh returned to the international game as an “Australian” in 2010, going on to dazzle us with his hair, his tattoos, and that devilish wit ever since.
Oh, and he was decent enough for a referee too.
With that in mind, we’ve been looking back on Walsh’s refereeing career this morning like a lovestruck teen does after a break-up, and we’ve compiled list of reasons he’ll forever remain in our oval-shaped hearts.
1. That hair
There is a good chance that the “business interest” that caused Walsh to miss last Saturday’s Six Nations game in Cardiff, and ultimately retire from the game, is a contract to become the new face of L’Oreal, Pantene or Head and Shoulders.
Dreamboat’s glorious locks and perfectly manicured beard have long been a source of amazement for players and fans alike, and the effortlessness with which he can run his hand through them has lit up stadium big-screens for many years.
2. He can strike a pose
When you have that hair and that beard, why wouldn’t you flaunt it?
At test rugby level, not only are there tens of thousands watching you in the stadium, there are potentially millions of people watching you, and 30 other guys, on television. It’s important then, that you can strike a pose to rival Derek Zoolander.
Here’s Steve wondering what conditioner he should use for the post-match function
“Who, me?!”
Oh nothing to see here, just Steve doing some lunge. It’s probably best to look at this picture while humming a Marvin Gaye song in your head.
However Steve is just a normal guy. And like the best of us, he’s sometimes just not prepared for the camera.
3. Dat ink…
A wise man once said: “He who controls himself, controls the game”. That wise man was Steve Walsh.
Steve has often alluded to “personal battles” he’s endured, and it’s a mantra he clearly goes by, with the message tattooed to the inside of his forearm.
However, at the 2011 Rugby World Cup, Walsh was ordered to cover up the tattoo by the IRB, who clearly didn’t want it to influence other referees who may attempt to control the game.
As Omar Little said…
4. He just wants to be one of the guys
While it’s often accused that most referees turned to the gig because they were useless at playing, Walsh was never given the chance, when he was told he could not play contact sports due to the fact that he only had two and a half vertebrae in his neck.
Because he never got to be part of the team, sometimes you can forgive him for getting too involved. In November, Mick Cleary from the Telegraph wasn’t too pleased with Walsh for saying “nice pass” to Willie Le Roux, after he set up a try against England at Twickenham.
It’s all about being part of the group though. Here he is shooting the breeze with some Crusaders.
5. He’s got the reflexes of a cat
When you’re a referee you’re in the firing line.
A lower than expected trajectory on a kick can spell disaster, especially when it could destroy that hairstyle, so you’ve got to keep your head on a swivel at all times.
Here avoids decapitation from a Nicolas Sanchez punt, but while he keeps his hair in check, he does lose his composure for a split second.
At least he fared better than one of his colleagues…
6. He’s a smooth operator
You’d imagine that it takes incredible concentration to keep pace with a game of test rugby, but Walsh can do that, and pick up chicks at the same time.
Here he is taking a break from the action to walk to the sideline and attempt to chat up a rather attractive South African physio.
So he enforces the law and he’s a ladies man? He’s like James Bond, except his only weapons are a whistle and two coloured cards.
7. He’s also a motivational speaker
Picture the situation. You’re a massive rugby fan, and you’ve just bumped into one of the game’s most well-respected referees.
Naturally, you’ll ask him to say a few words of encouragement to your team back at home, who’ll have the inspirational tones of Walsh echoing through your mind during the season, ultimately carrying you to glory.
Push over Al Pacino in Any Given Sunday, or Jim Telfer on the 1997 Lions Tour, here’s Walsh making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
I need to lie down…
8. He knows how to handle a schmozzle
A massive punch-up in which future Connacht prop Nathan White unleashes a barrage of punches on an opponent, and all hell breaks loose.
Instead of handing out cards, Walsh goes down the “boys will be boys” route of officiating, dismissing it all as nothing tomfoolery and hijinks.
We’re also treated to some classic Walsh moves here. First we have the “I’m watching you” glance to a Waratahs centre, before the dismissive laugh at another player, who tries to plead his case.
It’s pretty much Steve Walsh summed up in three minutes.
9. He’s a physical presence
Conrad Smith has long been regarded as one of the game’s very best defenders, but we’re fairly sure he learned everything he knew about the tackle from the Dreamboat himself.
And because he’s such a genuine blokes’ bloke, he even apologises.
10. He likes to get in close to the action
There’s a fine balance to be struck when you’re a referee. You need to really get into the nooks and crannies to see what goes on at the rucks, but you also need to keep a safe distance, and not become an obstruction.
Sometimes, it’s difficult…
11. Even when he’s wrong, he’s right!
The rugby supremacist prides his game on the fact that referees are untouchable, and that any bit of mouthing to the match official should be punishable by lethal injection.
Walsh found himself in hot water after this game between the Waratahs and the Brumbies after making a balls of a few decisions.
However, the highlight of the game was his running dialogue with the Brumbies’ Stephen Hoiles, resembling the battles of a failing marriage.
“Stephen, let’s just have a constructive conversation!?”
His performance in that game didn’t go down well, with the Brumbies Matt Giteau picking up a $5,000 fine for publicly asking reporter should they even bother showing up for their game the following week, which Walsh was pencilled in to cover.
Alas, Walsh was removed from the game, and they showed up.
11. Twitter loves him
When he announced his retirement last night, there was an outpouring of grief on Twitter, with the famous Steve Walsh’s Hair account leading the tributes.
Dear fans…I know this is a shock but it's time I concentrate on being a full time #Dreamboat and be #Glorious each and every day #Thanks
— Steve Walsh's Hair (@SteveWalshsHair) March 19, 2015
As a way to pay homage I'd simply ask that all games have a minute of the #SteveWalshShow on the big screen for the fans to adore perfection
— Steve Walsh's Hair (@SteveWalshsHair) March 20, 2015
It's not an eclipse today. It is just the sun hiding from the news that Steve Walsh has retired. #mate #hewhocontrolsthegame
— Pete Thomas (@pedrothomas) March 20, 2015
And the seas parted and the Israelites marched forward. From the heavens, a voice was heard "you may award the try, Romaine, mate" Steve3:16
— Whiff of Cordite (@WhiffofCordite) March 20, 2015
Much like today's eclipse, Steve Walsh's retirement will throw us into darkness. WHY, STEVE?! WE HAD A GOOD THING GOING
— Dai Lama (@WelshDalaiLama) March 20, 2015
Steve Walsh retires and Wayne Barnes continues. Where is this God you speak of ?
— Rugby Onslaught 🏉 (@Rugbyonslaught) March 19, 2015
Anyone with the front to check their hair on a big screen in front of 50,000 people is fine by me. Best of luck to Steve Walsh in retirement
— Charlie Morgan (@CharlieFelix) March 19, 2015
12. And finally, this…
