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Rugby

10th Nov 2014

‘A porn star with up-sized breasts’; South African media react to Irish loss

Boks fail to find 'balance between solid wife material and sexy seductress'

Patrick McCarry

South Africa’s 29-15 loss to Ireland at the weekend was the first time the side have lost in Europe under head coach Heyneke Meyer. Having defeated the All Blacks a little over a month ago, Saturday’s failure was somewhat of a buzz-kill for their press corp.

Here are some of the hyperbolic highlights from the Springbok post-mortem.

Ryan Vrede from SA Rugby Mag was not best pleased with South Africa opting to shift from a tactical to an expansive game. He declared, ‘(Meyer) has performed some plastic surgery to the game-plan, but it’s a botched job in which he has inadvertently created something horrendous, something boasting neither balance nor symmetry.

It appeals only to those with a warped concept of what is beautiful and attractive. It’s a porn star with up-sized breasts, inflated lips, cheap hair extensions and a botox-filled face. It should and can be Eva Mendes – just the right balance between solid wife material and sexy seductress.’

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Writing in Business Day, Mark Keohane states the defeat had been coming all year. He proclaimed, ‘The Boks, in beating the All Blacks at Ellis Park, did not become the world’s best team overnight. And neither did they become the world’s worst team after the embarrassment of Dublin… They were arrogant in their approach and took a beating. They didn’t earn the right to win and played with the assumption they’d win.’

Speaking to The Times, South African tight-head Jannie du Plessis admitted the loss left him with a ‘shit feeling’. He took no pleasure in his team’s scrum dominance during the match. Du Plessis said, ‘It’s like chess. You might have the most pieces on the board, your queen is creating havoc and you think you’re in control, but if your king falls you lose the game.’

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