After handpicking our dream cast for the inevitable Brian O'Driscoll and Martin O'Neill biopics, we now turn our attention to the poster boy of Irish MMA. Here are our casting choices for the Conor McGregor movie.
Daniel Craig as Dennis Siver
Despite being 11 years the German steroid-head's senior, this generation's James Bond is a dead ringer for Siver. All he needs to do is master the art of the spinning-back kick and he's a shoe-in to play one of McGregor's many foes.
Hans Moleman as Cub Swanson
Unfortunately, the age difference might be too much to make Moleman a viable candidate. As McGregor rightly pointed out, Cubby Bear is 95-years old, and as we know Moleman is the sprightly, young age of 31.
https://twitter.com/TheNotoriousMMA/status/508055168605519872
Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Frankie Edgar
The young Hollywood rising star is not only the same age as the former UFC lightweight champ, but he also proved in his directorial debut Don Jon that he is more than competent at doing the New Jersey accent.
Blanka as Clay Guida
The Carpenter's likeness to the hirsute, green Street Fighter character even extends as far as their shared fighting style. The American wrestler has a similar crouched fighting stance and also bounds around the Octagon like he's had one too many blue smarties.
If Blanka is unavailable for some reason (i.e. for being a fictional character in a video game), literally any Power Metal band frontman could seamlessly slot into the role.
Brian F. O'Byrne as Louis Copeland
Let's hope they don't exclude this character if they ever do make a McGregor movie. If it's true that a man tells his barber everything, imagine the knowledge McGregor's tailor has of the poster boy of Irish MMA. Since I know nothing of the real-life Copeland except for his hairline, I've envisaged him as a wise-cracking Dubliner similar to the one Brian F. O'Byrne played in Intermission. Call it poetic licence.
Tom Vaughan-Lawlor as Paddy Holohan
Personality is a key part for portraying the Hooligan as Paddy has lots of it. If you can remember the early days of Love/Hate, before Nidge went totally off the rails, you'll recall the character being the main source of comic relief in the TV show. Lawlor just has to remember that his character figuratively murders people inside the Octagon rather than literally offing civilians out on the street and he'll do a fine job.
Clive Standen as Cathal Pendred
As the old adage goes, cast the beard first and the acting will take care of itself. The bald cap used during filming will have to be a lot more realistic-looking than our dodgy photoshop.
Martin McCann as Norman Parke
McCann would not have to alter his accent for the role, however he will need to work on his ground game in order to be believable as the Bushmills lightweight.
Frank Grillo as John Kavanagh
If you need to cast an MMA coach, there is only man for the job. Grillo has already portrayed an MMA coach twice, first in the 2011 heart wrenching sports drama Warrior and since 2014, he's been one of the stars of the TV show Kingdom, which actually featured a cameo from ol' Moleman himself, Cub Swanson.
Oscar Isaac as Jose Aldo
Since there are seemingly no Brazilian actors of note in Tinsel Town, we'll have to make do with the Guatemalan powerhouse who won critical acclaim in Inside Llewyn Davis. The only fear is that his acting talents will be wasted in a mostly, non-English speaking role.
Michael Chiklis as Dana White
It was an obvious choice, really. Few actors are big and bald enough to play the face of Zuffa.
Ben Foster as Conor McGregor
I concede that this is going to be a controversial choice. Some of you may even go as far to say that casting a non-Irishman as Ireland's UFC superstar is an act of treason, even borderline sacrilegious, but hear me out.
Foster has proven in films such as Alpha Dog and 3:10 to Yuma that he can play intense, intimidating characters with a penchant for violence. While in Contraband he showed that he has comedic timing... and that he can play an intense, intimidating character with a penchant for violence.
Getting to grips with McGregor's mannerisms will be the most challenging part of the job. Also the fact that the last American to do a decent job at an Irish accent was Jon Voight in 1998's The General won't help his case. However, I have faith that Foster is up to the task at hand. Another pro is that he (or at least his stunt double) has some pretty decent stand up. Warning: NSFW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aViNbVvrkg
If you're unhappy with that selection, Travis Fimmel, star of the historical drama Vikings could provide an adequate alternative. He does look quite a bit like McGregor even if the man himself is unwilling to admit it.
https://twitter.com/TheNotoriousMMA/status/435858790962171905
