The Strength and Conditioning culture has really taken off in the GAA in recent years.
Managers are demanding it, players are absolutely embracing it.
The majority of GAA clubs in Ireland have built a gym in the last few years to facilitate the needs of their players to get that vital gym training done.
Many of the senior, more experienced members of teams still scoff at the idea of going to the gym.
“Ah you’d get more benefit out of doing a bit of work out on the farm,” they’ll say.
The gym culture has its critics, but there’s no stopping the Gains train for many of our GAA players.
There are many types of gym-goers in every GAA club, here are the most common.
1. The beast of a county star – He’s a man mountain this fella.
He’s an absolute beast in the gym, and his mere presence will almost put you off doing your own workout.
He benches the 35kg dumbells without breaking a sweat and he almost faceplants the ground with his press ups.
2. The clueless scrawny guy – This guy doesn’t have a notion what he’s at, though he’ll try to convince you otherwise.
His version of pull ups are a minuscule extension of his arms at a breathtaking pace.
“Them full extension pull ups are a waste of time,” says he.
He’s fond of the exercise machines in the gym, such as the pec deck, though he doesn’t have a clue how to use them.
3. The Foam Roller guy – He loves that foam roller of his, this fella.
He spends almost an hour rolling up and down and all around on his crucial apparatus. He’ll roll his back, he’ll roll his arse, he’ll roll on parts of the body that you’d never even think of rolling.
By the time he’s done, it’s time to go home.
4. The protein scoffer – This lad just loves protein.
“Sure what are ye all at going to the gym when you can take a scoop of this magic powder and get twice as big?”
He gets that crucial protein into him before training, after training, anytime he can get his hand on it really.
5. The know it all spoofer – He tells you (and anyone who will listen) exactly what you are doing wrong in the gym.
“Jesus, how do you expect to get bigger when you’re benching like that?”…”Watch me, young lad, this is how you do it.”
6. The all-arms guy – Just loves working them biceps and triceps, this guy.
He does the “curls for the girls” all day every day.
While doing these curls, his facial expressions will resemble a mad man while he intermittently glances down at his biceps which are definitely getting bigger by the second.
when it comes to lifting weights the thing that makes me rage the most is when fellas say 'i dont train legs because i play GAA twice a week
— LonelyBoy (@M_kerley) May 2, 2012
7. The Gym specialist – Watching this lad in the gym, you’d be 100% convinced that he’s a county star.
He has wide shoulders, he lifts phenomenal weights.
As they say though, “you can’t kick the weights over the bar” and despite having every physical attribute needed to succeed, he just doesn’t have the skill on the pitch.
8. The Streaky gym-goer – Great intentions, has this lad.
He hits the gym 8 times in the one week.
He messages team-mates asking for company, he bombards the team Whatsapp, he even buys himself a bag of protein.
He doesn’t go at all in the next month.
9. The straggler – The poor lad is doing absolutely everything right in the gym.
He goes four/five times a week, he’s on the protein.
He just can’t get any bigger.
His metabolism is blamed, “his parents were fairly small too,” they say.
Whatever it is, it’s just not working out for him.
10. The social gym-goer – The height of this lad’s gym workout is a groin stretch which is accompanied by some extremely audible groans and yawns.
This fella enjoys floating around the gym, chatting to everybody and anybody about anything he can think of.
He mooches around the place, and keeps the team-morale high.
He does absolutely nothing, however, and never shuts the f*ck up.
11. The mirror magnet – He stretches in front of the mirror, he lifts weights in front of the mirror.
He just can’t get away from that mirror, this lad.
He enjoys sizing himself up in the mirror, flexing to the max at all times.
Can be guilty of a cheeky selfie post in the Whatsapp to let all his team know the depth of his commitment.
These selfies are regularly accompannied with the 30kg/35kg dumbells even though he’s not able to lift them.
12. The Grunter – He enjoys letting everybody else in the gym, and within a 2-mile radius of that gym, just how much effort he is putting into it.
You’d swear he was a professional tennis player.
Long live the gains-train.
