It’s a typical start to the new season.
A manager has signalled his intentions to win everything and he’s told the group exactly how that can be achieved.
To do that, he needs total commitment and total focus and he needs the absolute very best out of every one of his players. He needs them to stay off the drink. Train to their maximum. Don’t miss anything. Wear the right gear. Help out with the underage. Respond to Teamer. Yada yada yada.
He needs them to sign a contract.
The leaked St. Brigid’s player contract made for some depressing reading.
It wasn’t exactly anything new or different from what’s already expected of a club player nowadays but to see it all written down and demanding that each member of the panel sign it and date it like school children is grim.
You can so easily forget that, as a coach, you’re at the head of over 30-odd players. Grown-ups. People with their own minds. Their own lives. Their own gripes. People who might never see the light of a starting jersey or people who just don’t like other people.
So when you hand out a contract like they did in St. Brigid’s Dublin, here’s how it could go down on WhatsApp.
1. The follow-up message
2. The follow-up to the follow-up
3. The arse-lick chimes in
4. And another
5. The key player can’t listen to the nonsense anymore
6. The reminder
7. The rules for training
8. The Teamer reminder
9. The sub groups emerge and they are not happy
10. Others at least can have a laugh about it
11. The sub group breaks off
Morale is already low.
The rules are already a joke.
12. The contract leaks and it’s a national story
13. Urgent action is required
14. But for God’s sake keep to the rules
