GAA clubs are the backbone of many Irish communities.
A GAA club is a place which brings together all members of the community, young and old, male and female.
There’s every type of personality behind the scenes in our GAA clubs, ranging from the former players to the Waterboys, to the secretaries, to the sandwich makers all the way to the club groundsmen.
What would we do without our clubs? Well, we probably would have way more free time, we wouldn’t spend countless hours thinking about the clubs next Junior B game and we certainly wouldn’t be catching our death of cold struggling through the wind and rain of a cold winters night’s training session.
Regardless of the struggles, we love it and we will continue to love it.
Here are some of the various different personalities that are doing the donkey work in every one of our GAA clubs, and they absolutely love it.
1.The young waterboys – Great lads, these lads. The future stars of the club, they come to every training session too because they absolutely love the thrill of it.
They come into their own on a big championship day. They are given a waterboy bib in the dressing room, and to them, it’s the equivalent of a starting jersey on the Senior team.
They race on and off the field delivering the desired levels of H2o to their heroes.
When one of the Senior players says thanks to them, it makes their bloody day.
2.The old waterboy – There’s usually only one in every club.
These lads walk around with one, sometimes two water bottles. They generally drink more water themselves, than they actually give to the players, however.
When they do bring in the water, though, they tell the players to ‘get it into you, that’s great stuff.’
3.The cranky kit man – The lad who knows the number of sliotars or footballs that are within the parish boundary better than he knows the back of his own hand.
If even one of these balls goes missing, he’ll be questioning every single player in the club on its whereabouts and he won’t rest until the mystery has been solved.
He’s also prone to kicking up a fuss when the players throw their jerseys back to the kit bag after a game, and some of them, God forbid, are inside out.
4.The tea and sandwich makers – They come into their own around Championship season.
The players have trained hard all winter, it’s the end of a light Friday night training session and there’s a Championship game at the weekend.
The players deserve some tea and sandwiches, and tea and sandwiches is what they get. They might even get some buns and biscuits if they’re lucky.
The providers take absolute pleasure in every sandwich eaten by the players and live for giving that crucial ‘hot drop’ of tea.
5.The club diehard – These lads absolutely live and breathe the club, they would do anything, absolutely anything to help the club succeed.
They may be the secretary, they may be the Chairperson but whatever role they have, they perform their tasks to the best of their ability.
When the club AGM rolls around, the standard club member takes advantage and nominates them for every job under the sun.
They put in countless, long and more-often-than-not underappreciated hours year after year.
6.The begrudging former player – This lad played for the club in the past. He didn’t enjoy the most successful of careers and boy does he struggle to let this grudge go.
‘This club is rotten to the core’ says he, ‘it’s been run by the same bunch of lads for the last 50 years.’
He is unable to see the good in what any of the new breed of players do for the club. He has a chip on his shoulder and is always giving out on the sideline of games.
Shut up and get over yourself.
7.The Juvenile manager who thinks he’s Brian Cody – This lad takes their job so bloody serious, even if they are managing the under-12’s.
Their heart is in the right place, but my god they’re a little bit over the top.
Their training sessions are intense, their team-talks are ferocious and they completely ignore the fact that they are managing a bunch of 12-year-olds.
They might as well be managing the senior team.
8.The stats man – They never miss a game, they never miss an action in a game. They take an absolute pile of stats, on everything and anything you could possibly think of.
They’ll read out every single stat they have compiled as if it’s the most important thing in the world.
They could tell you how many times you pulled up your socks during a game, and they’d convince you that it mattered.
9.The mothers – The mothers who think their ‘geese are swans’.
They can’t for the life of them understand why their child isn’t starting the game.
When they do get a run, she’s frantic on the sideline. If her child gets a knock, she immediately transforms into a physio.
10.The cute hoors- These boys are clever, they know all the right people, you see.
They don’t become a club member until the county reaches an All-Ireland final and they want to get into the draw for tickets. ‘I completely forgot about joining this year, sure look I’ve the money here.’
They get in free to all the games through blackguarding the lads at the gates. ‘I’m the Chairperson sure.’
11.The farmers – They love the club, but they just don’t have the time to commit more to it.
They show up late to all the club meetings, because they’d ‘a cow calving at home sure.’
They show their love to the club through offering a bullock for the club auction.
Heroic.
12.The pushy registrar – ‘Lads, if you don’t pay your membership before the next game, you’ll never play for this club again.’
The lads don’t pay, they’re still on the team.
13.The dedicated groundsmen – These lads are at the peak of their powers running around the pitch with a few flags in their hand.
If they catch sight of a young lad, they’ll say ‘Here you’re young and fit, run around with them flags and stick them in the holes in the ground for me, good lad yourself.’
14.The Club Lotto promoters – ‘The prize this week is up at €15’000, imagine you won that.’
They enjoy a pub appearance of a Saturday night, sure isn’t that where the money’s at.
15.The Scoreboard keepers – Underappreciated, these lads.
But they’ll never let you down, except for that odd time when they get sidetracked by a snapchat from their crush and miss a goal.
The referee has their back, though.
16.The ‘Physio’- There are many different types of physios in GAA clubs.
You have the ‘This freeze spray will do you the world of good, let me spray a bit on you and you’ll be right as rain’ kind of guy.
You have the physio who rubs your tight hamstring as if he’s trying to cut it in half, don’t tell him to go easy though, it only drives him on.
Then you’ve the arrival of a female physio which unusually prompts a spike in groin injuries, strange.
17.The Club legend – He won four All-Irelands with his county, he won six county titles with the club, he even managed the club for a while.
Whatever struggles the club are going through now, Jesus they wouldn’t have happened back in this fella’s time.
18.The Jersey Washers – How could we forget about these club stalwarts?
We certainly have a unique way of doing things in the GAA, and that’s why we love it.
19. The Lazy referee – Enough said.
Local man ref'd u12 game from his car on the hill in kilbeacanty,blew the horn for foul and indicator for direction #bestever #refstories
— James Skehill (@Jskehill01) June 5, 2013
