Yes, we like a list or two.
We like quintessential GAA characters and we like the raw Irishness that exudes from Gaelic pitches and changing rooms all over the country.
We like the toughness.
And we like the quirks. Well, sort of.
It’s not all about the lads on the pitch though.
Sometimes, there’s more drama on the sidelines and there’s more action from a crowd of players sitting stationary watching a game.
Below are the types of GAA subs that we’ve all come across.
1. The sub who steals all the tracksuits
It’s a cold day and this player is maximising comfort levels by throwing on every training jacket and tracksuit bottoms that they can find.
2. The sub who stands in everyone’s way
Sit the f**k down.
3. The disgruntled substitute
Works from player to player talking about how shite the team is. Looks for affirmation that he/she is going well in training. Threatens to leave but never follows through.
4. The sub who wants to be a coach
More from an ego point of view than anything, this sub stands alongside the management team on the line. Wants to dissociate themselves from the rest of the subs because this person thinks they’re better than sitting on the bench. The biggest abuser of this is someone who has been brought off but suddenly develops a limp to show that there was a reason for it.
5. The sub who is really just a supporter
This person is just delighted to be there. Won’t shut up about how good the team’s best player is. Roars and screams, fist pumps and bangs the roof of the dugout at every score. Sometimes he can’t believe he’s in the vicinity of a county player on the opposing team.
6. The sub hoping the team does shit
Not so much praying for their demise but can certainly see the positives of a bad performance, especially from rival team mates for a certain position. Happy enough when someone is getting roasted alive and does not like the supporter sub sitting on the same bench fawning over the side.
7. The subs hoping they don’t play
Bricking it on the bench. This is a big game, they can feel the tension first-hand along the line and hear the crowd clearer. Might express tightness at the danger of being brought on.
Alternatively, being brought on in the last five minutes of an absolute hammering when it’s pissing down and cold is the worst thing ever. We can all relate to that (all of us subs).
8. The sub trying to get on at every opportunity
When someone ballses up, this player will zip off their tracksuit top within ear shot of the manager. Takes off for their own warm-ups along the line, constantly stretching, constantly ready. No matter how little the manager cares. Might be called upon at some stage… to round up the footballs.
9. The sub whinging out loud
Not happy with this move and that move. Sees something go wrong and wants the manager to know that they don’t approve and that they would do better. Won’t stop crying: every wide, every opposition score, every lost possession. Pseudo passion.
10. The sub ‘keeper
The cosiest life in the world.
11. The sub that won’t stay off the pitch
The bane of the linesman’s life. Constantly has to be told to get back into the dugout. Runs on and celebrates, roars at team mates, threatens opposition players and good luck to you if you’re a coach for the other team who tells this man to sit down.
12. The sub with the shoulders
Worth deploying just to see the run onto the field and the big shoulder coming the marker’s way. A crowd favourite. Probably has a nickname like Bruiser.
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