Stepping up and falling down.
In Division 3 of the Allianz football league, no one can hear you scream.
Well not quite, but almost, as the second from bottom tier of league football can often prove to be a weird Twilight Zone for teams not bad enough to be demoted to junk status, or good enough to rise up the ranks.
This year’s band of misfits includes Kildare and Westmeath, two teams that in 2014 were both plying their trade in Division 1.
Half of the counties playing Munster championship are also in Division 3, which tells you all you need to know about that failed provincial system.
With changes proposed for the Championship structure in 2017, no one, and we mean no one, wants to drop to Division 4, which should make for a very tight and entertaining series of games.
Clare
Manager: Colm Collins.
Captain: Gary Brennan.
Who’s new: Pearse Lillis, Eoin Cleary, Jack & Cian O’Dea.
Who’s gone: Rory Donnelly (retired) Shane Hickey, Shane Brennan, Ciaran Russell, Davy O’Halloran and Cathal McInerney.
Fixtures: Sligo (h), Tipperary (a), Limerick (a), Westmeath (h), Offaly (a), Longford (h), Kildare (a).
Prospects: Three wins were enough to keep Clare in Division 3 last year. The county will expect and demand much more this season. Matches against Munster rivals to prove key to success or failure.
Odds on promotion: 3/1.
Preferred Championship structure: If love of GAA, and stone-madness won you an All-Ireland, Clare would be going for five-in-a-row. Unfair provincial system means county would enjoy life in a Champions League style format if available, if for no other reason than to entertain travelling fans in Lahinch and Kilkee.
Kildare
Manager: Cian O’Neill.
Captain: Eoin Doyle.
Who’s new: Eanna O’Connor, Hugh Mc Grillen, Morgan O’Flaherty, Liam Healy Adam Tyrell, Ryan Houlihan.
Who’s gone: Mikey Conway, Ray Cahill, Morgan O Flaherty.
Fixtures: Westmeath (a), Offaly (h), Longford (a), Limerick (h), Sligo (h), Tipperary (a), Clare (h).
Prospects: Cian O’Neill makes the tough transition from coach to manager. Kildare can’t afford to be relegated for a third successive year. League final a minimum expectation.
Odds on promotion: 2/7.
Preferred Championship structure: Sick of those Jackeens pushing you around? Why not gang up with your fellow commuter belt buddies and stick it to the Dubs? However would an amalgamated Kildare-Meath-Wicklow-Louth team even beat Jim Gavin’s men?
Limerick
Manager: John Brudair.
Captain: Iain Corbett.
Who’s new: Tommy Childs, Michael Donovan, Sean Flanagan. Stephen Kelly and Paudie Browne.
Who’s gone: Stephen Lucey.
Fixtures: Tipperary (h), Longford (a), Clare (h), Kildare (a), Westmeath (h), Sligo (a), Offaly (h).
Prospects: Held their own, just, in Division Three last term. Day one against Tipperary may be crucial to avoid a tough run of fixtures.
Odds on promotion: 11/2.
Preferred Championship structure: Limerick may feel the championship needs a good washing in the river Shannon and there’s no doubt it’s getting soggy around the edges by this stage. Amalgamation with Clare could create Munster ‘superpower’.
Longford
Manager: Denis Connerton.
Captain: Mickey Quinn.
Who’s new: None so far.
Who’s gone: TBC
Fixtures: Offaly (a), Limerick (h), Kildare (h), Sligo (a), Tipperary (h), Clare (a), Westmeath (h).
Prospects: Should make a serious impact after promotion from Division 4, their forwards are sharp and backs tight. A little bit of luck and it could be back-to-back promotions as they know so many sides in this tier already.
Odds on promotion: 4/1.
Preferred Championship structure: Secretly hope the GAA knock Croke Park and build a new venue somewhere on the N4. Let’s see how the Dubs do then.
Offaly
Manager: Pat Flanagan.
Captain: TBC
Who’s new: Shane Dooley, Sean Pender, Joe Maher.
Who’s gone: Mark Young, Paraic Sullivan, Declan Hogan.
Fixtures: Longford (h), Kildare (a), Sligo (h), Tipperary (a), Clare (h), Westmeath (a), Limerick (a).
Prospects: Promoted from Division 4, this year’s action will be a major test for Pat Flanagan & Co. Good defensively, they will need to every bit of luck to get things right. Opening local derby against Longford is a promotion four-pointer.
Odds on promotion: 5/1.
Preferred Championship structure: Straight knockout. Like the 1980s. None of this oul’ second chance shite.
Sligo
Manager: Niall Carew.
Captain: Mark Breheny.
Who’s new: TBC
Who’s gone: David Kelly.
Fixtures: Clare (a), Westmeath (h), Offaly (a), Longford (h), Kildare (a), Limerick (h), Tipperary (h).
Prospects: Stayed on in Division 3last term but could be facing a tough relegation battle due to increased competition. Major hopes pinned on two younger players who could light up this year’s campaign in Niall Murphy, who scored 0-17 in the FBD League, and Cian Breheny.
Odds on promotion: 5/1.
Preferred Championship structure: Stay as far away from any Aidan O’Shea shaped teams as possible. Use Knock airport (yes we know it’s in Mayo FFS) to travel in expanded 32-county FA Cup-style knockout competition.
Tipperary
Manager: Liam Kearns
Captain: TBC
Who’s new: John O’Callaghan, Martin Dunne, Josh Keane.
Who’s gone: Colin O’Riordan, Steven O’Brien.
Fixtures: Limerick (a), Clare (h), Westmeath (a), Offaly (h), Longford (a), Kildare (h), Sligo (a).
Prospects: Tipperary are sure to have a harder edge under the guidance of the Kerryman. O’Riordan and O’Brien are massive losses. Could find it tough to get wins in time of transition.
Odds on promotion: 11/4
Preferred Championship structure: Once they get to beat Kilkenny’s footballers in some way shape or form, then they don’t care what Championship reform happens. Call it the ‘Declan Browne Cup’.
Westmeath
Manager: Tom Cribben.
Captain: Ger Egan.
Who’s new: David Bryan, Stephen Gallagher.
Who’s gone: Gary Connaughton, John Gilligan.
Fixtures: Kildare (h), Sligo (a), Tipperary (h), Clare (a), Limerick (a), Offaly (h), Longford (a).
Prospects: Relegated in 2014 and again in 2015, another demotion would be a near-disaster. In 2014 they were a Division 1 side and any hope of doing anything this summer must begin with a win against Kildare, probably their toughest game, on day one.
Odds on promotion: 6/4.
Preferred Championship structure: Meath. Every year. Home and away. Local bragging rights. Who cares about an All-Ireland.
Opening round fixtures: Westmeath v Kildare, Offaly v Longford, Limerick v Tipperary, Clare V Sligo.
