Living abroad can be great. At times, it is tough. At Christmas, it is the toughest.
Tens of thousands of Irishmen and women living abroad will be in touch with home over the holidays and it will hurt like hell.
Nephews and nieces getting taller each time you see them on Skype. Mates heading out for catch-up drinks while you’re sitting in your shorts 12,000 miles away. A voice from long ago that still makes your heart skip. Your parents not getting any younger.
Anna O’Rourke knows how hard it can be to live abroad at this time of year.
Having moved away from home in 1993 – Dublin initially before moving to England and then France – she has felt the pangs of loneliness and longing for 23 years now. Some years are easier than others.
In her work as Health and Wellbeing Officer of Gaelic Games Europe, Anna has written a truly moving account of life abroad during the holidays and how the GAA has given her a lasting connection to home.
Having worked in a nursing home in Dublin and a care assistant in London, Anna and her partner set off for a new life in France. She takes up the tale…
‘Reflecting on this period of my life remains difficult. “Why?” I hear myself say. Well because I didn’t come prepared. I can only describe it as being a living torture.
‘I had taken French language courses before arriving but nothing prepared me for the shock of finding myself living in a small farmhouse far from any towns or English speaking people. This may be idyllic for many people however It wasn’t for me.
‘Not only was I deprived of sleep from looking after my little girl, I didn’t speak French and had no social contact with anyone. I didn’t even realise that I was depressed and in between changing nappies and breastfeeding, spent most of my days crying.
‘It took a strain on my relationship and Christmas can only be described as a day that I’d rather forget. We didn’t have work and therefore no income. We also had to queue for food parcels and nappies for our little girl.
‘We didn’t even have the money to buy a tree or decorations. It should have been a great first Christmas for my little girl and even though my sister came from Ireland to visit and instead of enjoying the moment, I cried through it.’
‘Luckily this darker period of my life didn’t last long and we moved from the country side to Rennes, the capital city of Brittany,’ Anna continues.
‘Life got a lot better when i discovered that there was a Gaelic football team in the city. This was and remains very important to me. I created the first ladies team with Sinead O Riordan and Jen Usher, two Irish Erasmus students.
‘I learned how to speak French but unfortunately my partner and I separated. I was determined, however, to make my daughter’s second Christmas memorable. I didn’t have a lot of money but I was so lucky that my family and friends rallied around me and my little one didn’t notice that her dad wasn’t there on Christmas Day.
‘I decorated my apartment with lights and a tree and it is so true when people say that it’s children who make Christmas so special. I didn’t see anyone over the Christmas period except for my daughter but I didn’t mind. I had her and the delight of seeing her face light up when she opened the presents was the best gift I had.’
Anna says, ‘If you are experiencing feelings of loneliness and despair, try to focus on previous good memories, that’s what I do. I’ll be thinking of the French championship finals which will be held on June 3 here in Rennes in 2017.
‘I’ll be thinking about the time when I worked in the Irish centre and had four Christmas dinners in one week. I will also think of the many people who don’t have a home and those sleeping outside in the cold. I hope for them that despite their current situation life will get better for them.
‘Don’t be scared or ashamed to talk about how you feel. Don’t bottle it up. If at any moment, it becomes unbearable then ask for help. It doesn’t make you a weak person, in fact it takes a lot of guts and strength to ask for help.
‘If you haven’t yet found a GAA club, perhaps this may be the moment to think about creating a club. Nothing is impossible and I am very grateful for the support that my European Gaelic games family circle give me.
‘Sport is also a good way to meet people and find friends and I can honestly say that my world would be a lot less fun without Gaelic Games.’
‘Wherever you are over this festive period look after yourself and others.’
*You can check out Anna O’Rouke’s full story here
