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31st May 2021
01:55pm BST

It wasn't all complimentary, of course. Let's not kid ourselves to say that the windy fella who pulled out of the 50:50 is getting away with it or the referee is getting treated with the consideration that they're human like the rest of us. God no! The lock-down hasn't changed us that much but when the sun set, the sandwiches were eaten and when all was said and done, it was good to be back at it, good to be back.
It was in the Athletic Grounds where Sportsfile caught a glimpse of every character under the sun and though what's written about them here is completely and totally fictional, you should never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
1. "Only 7,000 steps today, Christ"
2. "Facing that cow calving when I get home now is going to be the death of me"
3. Was some footballer in his day
4. "These shades are stone useless"
5. "Geezer should bring himself on"
6. "How many steps can you take these days?"
7. "Modern football is a joke"
8. "I'd be better than that lad out there meself"
9. "Going to have some tan after this now I'll tell ya"
10. "It's great because I can wear this to Mass tomorrow too you see"
11. Wouldn't miss an Armagh game for love nor money
12. He is the soundest man in whatever club he's from
13. "How long's left?"
14. "Can you tell me, a young fella like ya, why they keep going with these short f*cking kick-outs?"
15. "I'm actually the goalkeeping coach"
16. A brilliant club footballer who's hard done by not to be on the team
17. "Maybe if you'd finished your dinner ya wouldn't be asking for chips and the game only on ten minutes"
18. "Daaad, give him a break will ya?"
19. "Good job because you'd probably eat half them if I brought them up here anyway"
20. "Never going to a match with this crew ever again"
21. Still thinking about that missed birdie putt on the 7th today
22. "Well thank God they can't clamp tractors"
23. What the hell is Matt LeBlanc doing in Armagh?Explore more on these topics: