What the hell happened at Upton Park on Tuesday night?

On Tuesday night Albert Square had an East End rival in the mawkishness and sentimentality stakes.

The BBC's long-running soap opera Eastenders is renowned for its overwrought drama and ludicrous storylines, but the West Ham United-Sky Sports production from Upton Park gave it a proper run for its money. The horrors are still fresh but we recall a too-long, too-loud celebration of an idealised history that ripped off elements from opening ceremonies gone by and prevented fans from celebrating at their leisure (by ripping up seats and taking selfies with ripped up seats). If they're lucky, West Ham's final home game before they move to the Olympic Stadium will be remembered for the 3-2 win over Manchester United, or even the bottle attack on the Manchester United team bus that delayed the kick-off (and the mawkish post-match celebrations) by 45 minutes https://twitter.com/davidgoId_/status/730174913781321733 What about the idiots who thought a seven-hour post-match extravaganza was the best way to mark the last game at a stadium, Dave? We know you grew up on Green Street (God knows we know at this stage) but was the whole thing not a little over-egged. Does anyone remember how Manchester City said goodbye to Maine Road? Derby, the Baseball Ground? Southampton, the Dell? Leicester, Filbert Street? We'll all remember how West Ham said goodbye to Upton Park. It started with fireworks. So many fireworks there were concerns the demolition was beginning with 35,000 fans and 35,000 former players still in the ground https://twitter.com/SamWallaceTel/status/730150635765682176 https://twitter.com/jonoBLITZ/status/730151040788664320 Then there was a presentation to a 100-year-old fan, who was in her eighties when #FarewellBoleyn began https://twitter.com/BreatheSport/status/730315909391372289 Then, in case anyone forgot the team were moving to the Olympic Stadium, they ripped off an element of the 2012 opening ceremony. London Cabs! https://twitter.com/henrywinter/status/730155248074039296 https://twitter.com/MichaelCraig96/status/730156220896694273 https://twitter.com/ConanDoherty/status/730155359541837824 In those cabs were former players, who were introduced individually to the crowd. Obviously Paulo Di Canio stole the show, but only because Teddy Sheringham bottled it and lost the cap https://twitter.com/AngstromHoot/status/730111631359938562 https://twitter.com/BeardedGenius/status/730112553494450179 After the current side had come back out to lap up the fatigued applause of the crowd and Milan Payet expressed the emotions of most watching on TV by crying his eyes out, the band arrived... https://twitter.com/KING_NIALL_M/status/730162463019307010 https://twitter.com/callumread/status/730162146391248896 All that was left then was for the lights to be turned off, symbolically, by an actor playing club legend Bobby Moore https://twitter.com/golfcentraldoc/status/730164463278690305 Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCnn4Duce48