Vincent Tan should start up a team-talk consultancy firm with Tim Sherwood.
The Malaysian businessman is well about to hobble a pep talk together, by the sounds of things, and he could well play the weird cop role to Sherwood’s bad cop in any dressing room.
Tan, who owns Cardiff City, recently revealed that he sat down with the players in as he aims to get them shooting on sight.
“I gave them a pep talk and said they have GOT to start shooting,” Tan told WalesOnline.
“I told them David Marshall is keeping clean sheets, yet look at the stats. There are more draws than wins. David is doing his bit of the bargain, I told them, so clearly you guys are not scoring enough.
“In every match I want to see 30 or 40 attempts on goal, at least. Just shoot from 25, 30 yards, I told them.
“What’s the point of passing, passing, passing and hoping to get in the box that way. Unless you’re Lionel Messi looking for a tap in, it’s not going to work.”
And Tan came up with a terrific analogy in an attempt to get the Bluebirds taking more chances from outside the box.
“Have you seen ugly men walking around with a very beautiful wife? Well that’s because they’ve asked 30, 40, 50 times before getting a yes.
“On the other hand, you’ll see a handsome man ask once, get a ‘no’ in response and that’s it.
“So the more you try, the more success you’ll have. We need a lot more goal attempts, we’ll score more and win games.
“Not only that, the fans will love it, too.”