A penalty saved, Manchester City take the lead before conceding one of the worst Champions League goals of all time but all we can think about is Michael Owen’s pay cheque.
He keeps getting them from BT Sport.
We bet they’re huge. Much bigger than any insight he has ever given on television.
It’s not new or original to have a go at little Mickey, but then nothing he says is new or original either, however it is so profoundly uninteresting that we cannot look away.
It’s like watching a really uninteresting car crash happening in super slow motion where nothing gets hurt bar the IQs of the spectators.
Mother of God, on Wednesday night in Paris we had Owen forgetting the third letter of PS………G’s name ahead of kick-off, before he talked us through the point of walls at free-kicks.
Twice.
Seriously. Massive pay checks.
We knew it was going to be a good night when he fecked up his first piece to camera.
G! Michael! G! As in "Get off the telly" #UCL pic.twitter.com/oeft7gANxs
— SportsJOE (@SportsJOEdotie) April 6, 2016
But once he got comfortable in the press box he was able to settle into his ass groove and wow us with the opinions that can only come from a lifetime in football. Or a lifetime spent avoiding films.
Did you know why they have walls in football?
Michael Owen on walls part i #UCL pic.twitter.com/OoUfGFKnaK
— SportsJOE (@SportsJOEdotie) April 6, 2016
Did you know why the walls in football sometimes jump?
Michael Owen explains walls part ii #UCL pic.twitter.com/xHCuCZwmYg
— SportsJOE (@SportsJOEdotie) April 6, 2016
If you knew the answers to both questions, have a really monotonous voice and hate the cinema then maybe you too could soon be carrying home giant novelty cheques.
