At least Arthur Fonzarelli only jumped the shark once in Happy Days.
Transfer Deadline Day, on the other hand, has been hopping over hammerheads in its metaphorical jet ski ever since players started costing money, and you could no longer claim a new holding midfielder by collecting 12 crisp packets and sending them off to the FA.
Those were the days, the times of yore when boots were jet-black, jerseys were baggy, haircuts were tidy and phones were solely used for their intended function – to call people.
Unfortunately, the rare auld times have passed us by and now we live in that dreaded inescapable period known as the ‘modern day’, where a defensive midfielder costs more than an entire crisp factory empire.
Boots come in a confusing amount of styles and colours, jerseys are painted on and the most fashionably haircuts are something called a ‘man-bun’ or that Jack Grealish hairdo that resembles an iced gem biscuit.
Making phones mobile has only seen them develop smarts, causing them to rebel against their original purpose and become vessels for moody teenagers to voice the vitriol with ‘txt spk’ and pixelated hieroglyphics known as ’emojis’ or ’emoticons.’
Despite football’s world governing body’s constant attempts to keep football human, it appears that the machine uprising has already begun as the powers that be are trying to incorporate these little terrifying computer-generated characters into the beautiful game.
It's a new low. pic.twitter.com/KwsA99QAh7
— Kelly Welles @kellywelles.bsky.social (@kelly_welles) January 31, 2017
Suddenly, that episode of Happy Days doesn’t seem all that insufferable anymore.
Fan.
Emoticons.
FAN.
EMOTICONS. pic.twitter.com/213sVpZdS2
— Trev Downey (@downeytrev) January 31, 2017
