Dead man walking.
Can anyone, hand-on-heart, see Louis van Gaal present on this summer’s Manchester United pre-season tour?
The United manager is getting close to out-Moyesying David Moyes since taking charge of the Red Devils in 2014 and his shortcomings are many and obvious.
Here are just seven that we’ve picked out but we’re sure more will be made before he’s finally sent packing.
1. Having none of Javier
Nineteen goals in 22 games for Chicharito this season, yet he wasn’t good enough for a starting place under Van Gaal.
While there is no guarantee that the goals he is scoring for Bayer Leverkusen would have directly translated to the Premier League, you’d think he’d nab some if given the chance at Old Trafford.
The goalscoring inconsistency of Wayne Rooney (12), Anthony Martial (8) and Memphis Depay (5) has contributed to United’s failure to get out of their Champions League group, their inexplicable elimination from the Capital One Cup and a daunting climb towards the top four.
Whenever and wherever he has played, Javier Hernandez scores goals. His finishing is his best trait. He may not be the strongest or fastest striker in the world but he gets goals, which is something Van Gaal could really have done with this season.
2. Transfer market
Linked with Dani Alves, signs Matteo Darmian. Linked with Mats Hummels, signs Marcos Rojo. Linked with Thomas Muller, signs Martial. Linked with Arturo Vidal, signs Bastian Schweinsteiger.
The list goes on and on: positions that Van Gaal singled out for improvement, identified a potential superstar to fill the gap before signing an alternative who was either unheralded or past it professionally.
While Ed Woodward has to shoulder some, if not most, of the blame for this downfall, Van Gaal is the manager of the football club and he should be fighting tooth and nail for every player he wants to bring to Old Trafford.
3. Bogged down in his own philosophy
Unfortunately for Manchester United supporters, all of Van Gaal’s entertainment value is used up in his press conferences and there’s ne’er a drop to be seen on the pitch.
Van Gaal loves possession football more than he loves a good fat-man jibe and the former is what’s left fans bereft of all enthusiasm.
It’s quite literally two steps backwards to make one forward, which makes for dreadful viewing.
To implement this style of play, you need players with impeccable passing and a perfect touch which, unfortunately, are few and far between at Old Trafford.
Far too often do you see the United midfield attempt a one-touch succession of passes only for someone to lose concentration, then the ball, then the opponent.
United’s best performances this season have come when Martial and Jesse Lingard have been given the freedom to run at full backs, dragging them out of position to free up space in the centre for support.
But if Van Gaal has actively told his side to go out there with the intention of slowing the game down, how can they be expected to catch their opponents off guard? It’s a waste of pace and the antithesis of everything that Alex Ferguson stood for.
4. Allowing transfer targets to go to direct rivals
It’s when you lose the fans’ support that there truly is no way back and what more efficient way of having supporters turn their back than by essentially allowing top targets to sign for a rival?
Both Pedro and Nicolas Otamendi were almost to the stage where Manchester United squad numbers were being designated to them when they signed for Chelsea and Manchester City respectively.
Their absence in the United team may not be too significant but the message of a lack of intent it sends to everybody makes a mockery of the club’s recruitment policy.
5. Marouane Fellaini over Juan Mata?
For all his desire to play possession football, the decision to play Marouane “Plan B” Fellaini ahead of Juan Mata is a bizarre one from Van Gaal.
Fellaini should be nothing more than a last resort, a big man to stick up for late set-pieces when chasing the game. Mata, meanwhile, is a much more cerebral player with a greater range of passing.
Mata has created 31 chances in the Premier League this term with an average pass accuracy of 89% while Fellaini has created just 8 and has a pass accuracy of 83%.
Mata can be frustrating at times, most players can be. But surely Fellaini trumps the Spaniard in the “what the hell is he doing out there?” stakes.
6. Motivation issues
In more ways than one, Manchester United behave like relegation strugglers. They can get geed up for the big games but fail to assert their supposed dominance against the sides lower down the table.
Already this season, they’ve taken six points away from Liverpool and held both Manchester City and Chelsea to draws but yet they’ve come unstuck in a big way against Bournemouth, Norwich and Southampton.
There are more teams for United to face in the league than the top six. Thirteen precisely. And the points earned against the bottom half of the table are just as valuable as the points earned against the so-called big teams.
7. Turning on players
If the fans don’t have his back then at least the players do… well some of them.
It’s not difficult to end up in Van Gaal’s bad books but it’s nigh on impossible to get out of them.
We’ve already looked at how both Juan Mata and Javier Hernandez were frozen out by the Dutchman in different ways but look at the list of players who have also experienced his wrath.
Angel di Maria, Robin van Persie and Rafael coldly had their jerseys snatched away from them while Victor Valdes deserves an entirely separate story after the ire he faced from Van Gaal.
David De Gea was pulled from the first team with the speculation around his future just as Memphis Depay has been dropped for a lack of consistency.
Being harsh is one thing but, unfortunately, Van Gaal has crossed the line often enough to dissuade potential targets from Old Trafford.
