Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
Tim Sherwood, the one-man Vine machine, has ridden off into the sunset and left Villa bottom of the table swimming in a pit of brown bullsh*t spouted from his own mouth.
It was a thrilling ride while it lasted but, let’s face it, it was never going to last.
So Villa have gone off in search of this month’s messiah to lead them back to their 17th placed promised land and they have quite a list to mull over.
After the highs of Gerard Houllier, Alex McLeish, Paul Lambert and Sherwood, here’s how the sorry list of newest candidates stack up.
Remi Garde
Relatively unheard of until Sunday, the French man is now favourite to take over at Villa Park. And Villa fans are desperately trying to convince themselves that it would be a shrewd appointment to bring the former Lyon head coach on board for no other reason because we know too much about the rest of them.
Pros: Looks to have done his coaching groundwork, if Wikipedia is to be believed. And looks to have won a cup in France, if Wikipedia is to be believed.
Cons: Wikipedia must be believed.
David Moyes
Preston, Everton, Manchester United, Real Sociedad. He took a wrong turn somewhere. He might as well take another one with Villa.
Pros: Used to be a good, consistent manager.
Cons: Now a good, consistent laughing stock.
You just know David Moyes really, really wanted that second crisp.. https://t.co/ZbjzM8sj7O
— Sam Long (@samuelplong) January 14, 2015
Gus Poyet
The Uruguayan boasts a modest managerial record. So, immediately, he’s ahead of Tim Sherwood.
Pros: Friends with Luis Suarez.
Cons: Sacked by Brighton at the hands of the BBC and sacked by Sunderland at the hands of Sherwood.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QvJLV4QS_M
Nigel Pearson
We thought he worked wonders to get Leicester firing but it’s clear now from their form this season that he was actually managing one of the greatest teams in world football.
Pros: Got promoted and stayed up.
Cons: Chokes opposition players, calls reporters pr**ks, fondness for ostriches, almost as unlikable as Mark Hughes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEyOtCCiwnY
Brendan Rodgers
Would most likely think the job is beneath him anyway.
Pros: Continuity with Sherwood’s bullsh*tting.
Cons: Character. Focus. Intensity Pressing. Balance. Tactically. Technically. Positionally. Solutions.
Harry Redknapp
His demise was the worst thing that could have ever happened to Tim Sherwood because with Redknapp’s departure from QPR went the last of the straight-talkin’ geezers.
Pros: Could definitely take a half decent stab at keeping the club in the Premier League with £100m and unlimited wage funds.
Cons: Wheeler and dealer.
Dwight Yorke
N/A
Pros: No
Cons: Yes
So Mr Lerner, take your pick. Spoiled rotten.
It seems that Remi Garde is the best option. Why? Because no-one knows him enough to criticise. And we know plenty about the others. Better the devil you don’t know.
