Kids these days. They’re so impatient.
A matter of weeks after most of them got FIFA 16 for Christmas, and they’re already busily filling internet message boards with excited messages about what they’re hoping for from the *next* version of the game.
In the last couple of weeks, potential additions to the game’s list of ‘legends’ has been a popular theme, thanks largely to a tweet from Thierry Henry.
https://twitter.com/ThierryHenry/status/719774621097009152?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
With that in mind, we scanned the current list of FIFA legends for any glaring omissions, compiling the following list of the people we think are worthy of a place on next year’s game.
Ronaldo
When he wasn’t suffering from serious knee injuries or mysterious pre-World Cup Final seizures, Ronaldo was the greatest striker on the planet in the late nineties. Presumably, somebody decided that this made the Brazilian too big for his EA Sports boots, and that he shouldn’t be known by his actual name on FIFA 99, but as ‘A. Calcio’, instead (this could be edited easily enough, but it was a real ball ache at a time when you had to make memory card choices).
Ironically, thanks to the emergence of some other bloke with the same name, nobody refers to this Ronaldo without adding some form of adjective before his name: the Brazilian Ronaldo, the old Ronaldo, the fat Ronaldo… you get the idea.
Although the Portuguese, younger, slimmer Ronaldo has smashed records for fun in recent years, his namesake was a bloody good player and is definitely worthy of a place in the team if not just to educate the youngsters of today.
Freddy Adu
Unlike many of the other people who make up FIFA’s legends list, Freddy Adu is neither retired nor dead. Instead, he’s currently representing his 63rd football club (check this – Ed.), Tampa Bay Rowdies, in the North American Soccer League.
Unfortunately for young Freddy (he’s still only 26), things haven’t quite panned out the way wildly-excited football experts in America and Championship Manager players expected them to.
Dubbed the next Pele when barely out of his mother’s womb, Adu was being linked with every major club in the world before he was old enough to sprout facial hair.
We’d love to see a 15-year-old Adu (who’d probably be rated at at least a 92 in FIFA speak) tearing up defences on  FIFA 17.
Winston Bogarde
Getting the sense that this isn’t all that serious yet? Good. You’re right.
How good a player was Winston Bogarde? It’s a difficult question to answer if you’re a Chelsea fan. Having signed for the club in 2000, the Dutchman rarely played and his sizeable contract reportedly priced him out of a move elsewhere.
In recognition of the his time at Stamford Bridge, any appearance as a FIFA 17 legend would see Bogarde spend his time exclusively as an unused substitute and would cost anyone wishing to purchase him hundreds of pounds a month with payments only stopping at about the time FIFA 22 is due for release.
Jamie Lawrence
Remember Jamie Lawrence? Of course you do. The one who played for Bradford in their stint in the Premier League and dyed his hair funny colours.
Admittedly, the Jamaican international might not be regarded quite as highly as the likes of George Best and Luis Figo – other right wingers who currently have FIFA legend status – but his ever-changing hair colour would be a truly unique feature of next year’s game.
Besides, we doubt Carlos Valderrama would have his own legend card is he’d asked the barber for a sensible, Steven Gerrard-esque, short back and sides, tidy on top ever week.
Jorge Campos
What Jamie Lawrence was to flamboyant hair styles at Valley Parade, Jorge Campos was to equally bright Mexican goalkeeper kits.
Campos went as far as wearing his own retina-burning designs when on duty for his national team, making David Seaman’s Euro 96 efforts look like something drab your dad would wear from M&S.
Who wouldn’t want their FIFA goalkeeper dressed like this crazy b*stard?
Santiago Muñez
Jorge Campos isn’t the only Mexican we’d like to see added to FIFA 17’s legends. We’ve also made way for his fictitious inhaler-wielding countryman, who won cinema-goers over with his knack of scoring important goals for Newcastle in 2005 film, Goal.
Although he becomes a bit of a prick after leaving Newcastle for Real Madrid in Goal II, the idea of fielding a young Santiago in our FIFA team, before his mind is muddied by life in Madrid, is an exciting one.
Jonathan Wilkes
By now, we’re running out of ideas, so why not this guy?
Contrary to popular belief, Jonathan Wilkes wasn’t just Robbie Williams’ mate who he called on when the first few Soccer Aid matches rolled around – he was actually an entertainer and did songs and stuff.
He’s scored a few goals at the matches down the years, and has also thrown a shin pad at Edgar Davids – all in the name of raising money for a worthy cause.
It’d be harsh not to include him.
Sepp Blatter
We don’t know if Sepp played much football in his younger years, but we still shouldn’t rule him out of becoming a FIFA legend.
The one thing all FIFA games have lacked down the years has been a baddie, and the dethroned president of world football would fit the role perfectly.
Like Robotnik to Sonic the Hedgehog or Bowser to Mario, Blatter could be the ideal man to randomly appear and redistribute your FIFA coins and points to one of his mates.
It’d certainly add a very different layer to the game, that’s for sure.
