You can’t play Liverpool and Man City every week.
Manchester United’s fine run of form – Chelsea performance included – came to a crashing end at Goodison Park this afternoon as Louis van Gaal’s men were hung, drawn and quartered by a well-organised Everton outfit.
James McCarthy, John Stones (yes), and Kevin Mirallas were on target as the Toffees joined an elite list of teams to score three or more goals against United – along with Leicester and MK Dons, of course.
Here’s how the players fared, in a word.
Everton
Tim Howard: Cigar
Seamus Coleman: Motoring
Phil Jagielka: Protected
John Stones: Stones
Leighton Baines: Adventurous
Aaron Lennon: Lennon
James McCarthy: Suarez
Gareth Barry: Anchor
Ross Barkley: Initiative
Leon Osman: Alright
Romelu Lukaku: Ramrod
Subs:
Kevin Mirallas: Crafty
Arouna Kone: Time
Steven Naismith: Wasting
Manchester United
David De Gea: Drying
Antonio Valencia: Napping
Paddy McNair: Undercover
Chris Smalling: Firefighting
Luke Shaw: Telegraphing
Daley Blind: Conservative
Ander Herrera: Grand
Marouane Fellaini: Unused
Juan Mata: Blogging
Wayne Rooney: Starving
Ashley Young: Excrement
Subs
Radamel Falcao: Inevitable
Angel Di Maria: Shadow
Robin van Persie: Rehab
