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Football

23rd Sep 2018

QUIZ: Guess the footballer from their face in Pro Evo

Kyle Picknell

Pro Evo is the king and always be.

I love the Pro Evolution Soccer franchise. I always will. Gun to my head, give me Pro Evolution Soccer 4/5/6 over the latest iteration of FIFA every single day of every single year.

The license dodging player names – Roberto Larcos, Ruud Vom Mistelroum –  didn’t bother me. Nor did the fact my favourite team (West Midlands Village) were called ‘West Midlands Village’. Our badge had a unicorn on it. A f***ing unicorn!

In a way, it all added to the charm. Pro Evo was much more fun than FIFA, in every aspect, and that’s all that mattered in the pre-online age, before Ultimate Team packs and your win record took over.

Let’s celebrate a simpler time in the only way we can: by going through all of the horrendous design malfunctions that led to some of the worst faces ever seen in a video game.

Here they are, the digital misfits and the weirdos, so just squint your eyes, click and hope for the best.

Let's start with this classic of the genre.
Correct!
Wrong!

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*checks ID* "Sorry lads. Not tonight."
Correct!
Wrong!

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This player is just really, really sad. For some reason.
Correct!
Wrong!

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This guy looks like an ASOS website model.
Correct!
Wrong!

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What's wrong with his nose? Still, this is an easy one.
Correct!
Wrong!

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Sixhead.
Correct!
Wrong!

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His eyes are looking right through me.
Correct!
Wrong!

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Who is this Man Red superstar?
Correct!
Wrong!

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WHO IS IN CHARGE OF HAIRCUTS AT KONAMI?
Correct!
Wrong!

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This one is awful on so many different levels.
Correct!
Wrong!

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This man is extremely pointy.
Correct!
Wrong!

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Another sad boi.
Correct!
Wrong!

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Whatever happened to the eyebrow slit? Bring it back, I say.
Correct!
Wrong!

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This guy just looks like a hybrid of several different players.
Correct!
Wrong!

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Way off.
Correct!
Wrong!

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Now that is a granite jawline.
Correct!
Wrong!

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One of the more handsome efforts, let's face it.
Correct!
Wrong!

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His neck is a different colour to his face?
Correct!
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Maybe the worst of the lot.
Correct!
Wrong!

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AGAIN, WHO IS IN CHARGE OF DESIGNING THE HAIR?
Correct!
Wrong!

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This is Andrew Garfield.
Correct!
Wrong!

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Once again: terrible.
Correct!
Wrong!

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Wow.
Correct!
Wrong!

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Hair. Problematic.
Correct!
Wrong!

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Sorry, no. This is the worst. This will never be topped.
Correct!
Wrong!

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The FootballJOE quiz: Were you paying attention? – episode 10