Mario Balotelli will do strange things to a man.
He’ll even bring a man – a desperate man – to his knees and force him to beg for the return of a player caught up in all the biting and racism turmoil that a proud club like Liverpool is supposed to be above.
But, by God, Luis Suarez is a fine footballer and Jamie Carragher could be forgiven to turning to his good-looking ex who he knows is no good for him in an hour of loneliness.
The former Liverpool defender couldn’t idly sit back and watch the Barcelona attacker tear PSG a new arsehole without reminiscing about times gone by. Instead, he got proactive and took to his Instagram account to ask Suarez to come home.
Well, a good 11,000km away from home but a home nonetheless in Anfield.
And even today the Sky Sports pundit was dreaming about Suarez in the red of Liverpool. Let it go, Jamie. He’s gone.
When you’re held up as the anti-Balotelli though, there’s an argument that you could just be the greatest man on the planet.