Fans of the Magpies can sleep easy tonight after their place in the Premier League has been all but confirmed.
That’s because Israeli spoon-bender Uri Geller has vowed to offer his “psychic” services to John Carver’s side who find themselves just two points above the relegation zone ahead of the season’s final round of fixtures.
“Me and my wife follow football so when I saw the position Newcastle is in I thought I could help,” Geller explained.
“When I tried the last experiment it really worked. Obviously football is football, the ball is round so anything could happen.
“But it’s about the motivation and channelling that positive energy from the fans to the players to help them over the line.”
The previous experiment to which Geller was referring is when he ran around Highbury 11 times as Arsenal hosted Newcastle in 2001 in a bid to put an end to the Magpies’ run of 29 matches without a win in London.
“Last time it was easy because I lived in London, but I would be willing to travel up to Newcastle,” he added.
“I would only need two or three minutes with the players to get the adrenaline going and to motivate them.
“If Carver invites me that would have much more of a positive effect than anything else.”
Geller has promised to leave it at the pre-match team talk, though, rather than influence proceedings like he claims to have done by forcing Scotland’s Gary McAllister to miss a penalty against England at Euro ‘96 when he was working his magic from a hovering helicopter above Wembley.
“I made the ball move and that was unethical,” said Uri. “I won’t do anything like this again but I can use positive energy to try and help Newcastle win.”
Yup, this is the world we live in people.
