Monaco isn’t like most places on the planet.
It almost feels a little off that the principality even has a football team.
Not because they should be an international side rather than a club team in Ligue 1, but because the majesty of the casinos, beaches and all-around beauty doesn’t lend itself to stuff like a centre-back pairing of Sébastien Squillaci and Gaël Givet.
It certainly doesn’t lend itself to your run-of-the-mill team photo, with fresh-cut grass and managers and coaches in team tracksuits.
They probably felt they were above the mere concept of team photos, but they probably had Ligue 1 knocking on their door (well, pressing the buzzer at the decorative gates half a mile from the door itself) to literally force them to do it.
But they don’t do things by half-measures. And besides, it’s a little cold at this time of year, even on the French Riviera.
So, naturally, they did this.
.@AS_Monaco_EN 's official 2016/17 first team photo ! #UniqueForever pic.twitter.com/F4QdDLKotu
— AS Monaco EN (@AS_Monaco_EN) October 28, 2016
An actual ballroom. With pillars and a fuck-off huge chandelier. No need to worry about lighting. Or wind. Or anyone thinking they can compete on anything approaching the same level.
We’re frankly surprised that the players were even allowed to wear kits and boots for the photoshoot. If they were decked out in club-branded dinner jackets and bow-ties, few would have had any complaints.
Sure, it’s not quite on the level of this frankly ridiculous Zenit St Petersburg effort, but surely Monaco are holding something back for when (yeah, why not, let’s go with when) they win this season’s Champions League.
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