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Published 10:11 15 Oct 2016 BST
Updated 18:31 15 Oct 2016 BST
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Most of his army wouldn't even look at what is actually happening since this uncompromising defence was launched.
He can't play as a striker anymore - despite everyone being told he could because of his record.
So he moved back. But he can't play as an attacking midfielder anymore - despite everyone being told he could because of his vision.
So he moved back. But he can't play as a deep-lying midfielder - despite everyone being told he could because he's Wayne Rooney.
He can control a game, he can make a tackle, you have to get him in somewhere - that's the attitude. But, unfortunately, that's the attitude that gets people like Trevor Sinclair and Danny Murphy prime-time slots on Match of the Day to talk about football. They can say Wayne Rooney is a number 4 and they can get away with it.
https://twitter.com/Mr_P_Official/status/777629464482242560
Whilst a lot of people are gradually willing to accept that Rooney isn't a good option up front for United or England and that he probably isn't doing a good job as a number 10, it's never just a case of 'well, what the hell else is there to talk about?'
Imagine the Irish press clinging to the legacy of Robbie Keane and pushing the idea that he should be playing in defensive midfield for Ireland down the throats of all who'll listen and all who won't listen.
Glenn Hoddle then tries a blasé approach to it on co-commentary duty. He's not playing up front, what do people expect? No-one's crying about his goals for God's sake, Glenn. They're crying about his current inability to play football.
A dip in form does not last for three years.
Phil Neville says Wayne Rooney "HAS to play". No-one calls him on it. No-one even asks why. We're all supposed to accept it and just move on with our lives.
Gradually, as the weeks progress and Rooney does nothing in attack, in midfield, or as a "number 4", there's a sense that everyone is sobering up a little. It doesn't mean that they're going to tell the truth about what happened the night before or that they even regret any of it but it does just feel like some of them are at least aware that they shouldn't be doing these things.
So, now, we're looking for different ways to justify Wayne Rooney's presence.
And, as tenuous reasons go for fitting in an ineffective player in the biggest game of the season, Jamie Redknapp has the worst of them. The Sky Sports pundit asks if Rooney - who turns 31 on October 24 - should start against Liverpool. That's bad enough but then he doesn't bother answering. He just says Rooney wouldn't want to warm up in front of the Liverpool crowd.
Forget about the game, forget about the team and forget about the fact that Rooney is shit for a second, let's just plan for the disaster that one of the home fans might shout something insulting at the player if he has to warm up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4j4AD1OKHA
"Do you play Rooney in a big game like this?"
No. Obviously you don't.
On the latest episode of the GAA Hour, Wooly chats to new Meath boss Andy McEntee about the flawed Dublin Championship and catches up with new Clare joint manager Donal Moloney. Listen below or subscribe on iTunes.
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