Roy Keane was on top, top form after Manchester United’s 2-0 defeat to Manchester City on Wednesday night
Roy Keane is not a man of many words, nor is he likely to mince those few words he has. Roy Keane tells it exactly how he sees it and, more often than not, he sees it the same way a film noir director sees a rain-soaked Chicago back alley: black and white, gloomy and miserable.
When asked for his verdict on United’s performance during Sky Sports’ post-match show on Wednesday night, Keane was typically damning, criticising Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s team for their lack of desire and ability to do the basics against their admittedly technically-superior rivals.
His former teammate Gary Neville was softer in his criticism, telling Keane that was as about as good as that group of players could actually play and it was simply the gulf in class that was the difference.
Keane responded gently at first, replying “they had one shot on target Gary”, before growing increasingly annoyed at his fellow pundit’s defence of the United performance and beginning to pull that face Roy Keane pulls.
You know the one, the face where he looks as though he is quietly contemplating whether murdering everybody in the room might be worth the multiple life sentences if only to gain a few minutes of silence.
"The City players couldn't believe how easy it was tonight."
Roy Keane and @GNev2 look at the "gulf in class" between the two Manchester clubs…🔴🔵
Watch post-match reaction and analysis live on Sky Sports PL now: https://t.co/h8IlNR1VZq pic.twitter.com/HQJ2r0ToUn
— Sky Sports Premier League (@SkySportsPL) April 24, 2019
It was honestly a sight to behold: a head-shaking, eye-rolling, canvas masterpiece of quiet rage and frustration.
Fed up of Roy Keane keeping his emotions so tightly in check. 😂 pic.twitter.com/co044zVNzB
— Andy Burke (@AndyBurke_) April 24, 2019
As a result of the heated (as in Roy Keane got a bit heated, everybody else was fine) back and forth, good cop bad cop analysis of United’s failings, Jamie Carragher was forced to swoop in on Twitter (indirectly, he doesn’t have a deathwish) to tell Roy Keane to leave his Monday Night Football partner in crime alone.
https://twitter.com/Carra23/status/1121162554850643976
Fair play to the two of them, they’ve come a long way since their playing days. Very proud of the boys.
As for Roy Keane, he doesn’t have Twitter because he is Roy Keane. Roy Keane would last 4 minutes on Twitter before he saw an opinion he partially disagreed with and threw his phone into the nearest lake. He would not cope well with the bad opinion echo chamber that is Twitter. He can barely last half an hour in a room with four other men with slightly different takes on the game than him without literally exploding. Imagine what he’d do if he had a million followers harassing him every day. The world would end. The world would honestly end. He would end it. He would slide tackle the world with such anger it would simply cease to exist. If Roy Keane ever ends up on Twitter just know the end is coming long before climate change eventually gets us. This has been a public service announcement about Roy Keane. Stay safe out there people, especially you Gary.