115 years of greatness.
AC Milan celebrate their birthday today from way back in 1899 when they sprang upon the world and started unleashing magic amongst us.
Seven European titles, 18 Serie A successes, and a raft of some of the finest household names of many a generation, Milan have every right to celebrate and to be celebrated so we’re looking back over some of the glorious things that make them so lovable.
Best goalscorer
Remember the good old days? You know, the ones before Chelsea ruined Andriy Schevchenko? The Ukranian was unstoppable for the Rossoneri. Gunnar Nordahl leads the all-time scoring charts with a ridiculous 221 goals in 268 appearances as he guided the club to two league titles in the 50s but Andriy really captured the imagination of plenty of young JOEs aspiring to grow up and hit the net.
Scorer of best goals
Anyone familiar with Channel Four’s generation-defining Football Italia will have weak knees for Ruud Gullit. The Dutch man was so good that priests from west of the island were praying that they’d one day open an advent calendar box to see Ruud Gullit sitting on a shed. His effortless elegance at a time of Milan dominance was jaw-dropping and it’s unbelievable to think that some of his sublime golazos don’t top the list. Not so unbelievable when you consider he’s second to Marco van Basten. Anyone would accept that. Here’s just one bog-standard van Basten strike.
Best defender
Sweet Jaysus, take your pick. What’s your favourite type of ice cream? Does it really matter, they’re all amazing. Franco Baresi, Cesare Maldini, Alessandro Nesta, Costacurta, Cafu and unsung hero Mauro Tassotti. It honestly breaks our hearts to leave any of them out but Paolo Maldini‘s absolutely crazy, unthinkable, unmatchable 25 years of service can’t be overlooked.
Greatest import
This is getting too hard. In a club whose roster has boasted the iconic likes of Brazilian legends Ronaldinho, Kaka and Ronaldo – players who will be talked about forever – George Weah gets the nod for his raging attacking that steered Milan to two Serie A titles during his time. The Liberian helped form a new wave of strikers that made things happen themselves. Here he is just one average Saturday taking the ball from his own box and scoring.
Greatest export
Before he arrived in Dublin to take Ireland to the Euros and the brink of a World Cup, Giovanni Trapattoni was doing things like this with Milan.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKqR9RotrCo
Best tekkers
See greatest import. See Ruud Gullit sitting on a shed. See how hard this bloody is! But we will go back and bring one man back out of the woodwork. Ronaldinho was just taking the piss by the time he got to AC Milan but will we ever see the like of him again?
Most delicious player
Oh. Again, take a breath. It depends what you’re after. Whatever it is, AC Milan have it all. We’re partial to a maestro here at SportsJOE Towers though and anyone who ever has anything bad to say about Andrea Pirlo, you know where to go. We know Clarence Seedorf’s right foot is just as measured and the Professore could control a game with the best of them but Pirlo’s audacious vision, his wand-like command of a football and his stunning grace means he is one of our all-time favourites. It’s also largely why Milan won two Champions Leagues with him as the heartbeat and why he’s still doing it today with Juve, winning three Serie A titles on the trot. And a third consecutive player of the year too, just for the craic.
Hardest nut
Clarence Seedorf wouldn’t be a bad shout for this either. Neither would Baresi or any of them steely backs down through the years. Neither would Frank bloody Riijkaard. You know it’s Gennaro Gattuso though. We all do.
Most handsome devil
A lot of those hard nuts were also lookers, and we don’t mind saying so. Your Maldinis, your Nestas, Pirlo, even Gattuso – all fine specimens with plenty of fans – but we haven’t forgotten about pretty boy David Beckham. Look at that stubble.
Coolest fecker
It probably would be Pirlo but we can’t rip the back off it. Instead, it’s a two-season wonder who went in and lit the San Siro up. Zlatan Ibrahimovic rattled in 42 goals in 61 Serie A games and he renamed this gong himself, the most Zlatan award. Here are five of his best.
In the spirit of making this the most difficult award ceremony ever, we’ve cobbled together a team of the finest AC Milan players. Just to show off how tough it has been, we’ve devised the maddest formation with a sweeper and no full backs, we’ve left out Frank Riijkaard and there’s not even one mention of Filippo Inzaghi the whole way through (we’re going home now).
