Bizarre, but wonderful.
Ray Hudson has earned himself as one of the world’s most entertaining commentators with his passionate voice, incredibly descriptive similes – including ‘like confetti through a meat grinder’ – and adoration of South American footballers, particularly the magisterial Lionel Messi.
He calls Ronaldo the Dark Invader, he comes up with analogies that you couldn’t even rehearse like, “Madrid is working harder than a one-eyed cat covering three mouse holes.”
Honestly, if you’re ever bored, just skim through the @LiveRayHudson Twitter account and relive his glory in both real time and in hindsight.
"Nobody cuts the spam finer than Messi. The pass, again, measured down to a frog's hair."
— Live Ray Hudson (@liverayhudson) January 7, 2018
Before Barcelona kicked off their match against Levante, Hudson gave us all a dose of his wonderful wackiness as he joined in on the club anthem that is always played around the Camp Nou as the players enter the field.
Oh, and he rewrote the song’s lyrics, of course. Instead, he replaced them with words about new signing Philippe Coutinho.
Genuinely, it’s better than you think.
“Cooooooouuuuuutinho!
“You cost an awful lot of money, but Barça believe in you.
“Just be better than Gomes, or they’ll send you home (they’ll send you home).
“Back to cold, wet nights in Stoke.
“Now you’re in Spain, sunny, sunny Spain.
“Go and earn a big, fat pay check, boy.
“For Barca! For Barca!”
He’s quite the poet but, after all that money, you’d doubt if they would or could have any intentions of sending Coutinho home.
The Brazilian is yet to make his debut for the Catalan club, still struggling with a slight injury, but could play in their next match on Thursday, when Ernesto Valverde’s team will play the second leg of their Copa del Rey tie against Celta Vigo.
Christ knows how Hudson will react when Coutinho scores his first goal.
