On a morning when you wake up and North Korea are said to have successfully tested a nuclear bomb, it’s a sad indictment of things that your biggest concern is just how bad Ireland are right now.
Imagine the Republic don’t qualify for even a World Cup playoff at the end of all of this. They’d be left thinking, ‘ah, Christ, if only we tried to beat Austria at home’, ‘if only we tried to beat bloody Georgia’.
They wouldn’t so much have died wondering as they would have bowed out mannerly of their own volition without even being bothered to ask a question.
The victory in Vienna was quickly rendered pointless as three successive draws – two at home and one against the lowest seeded country in the group – followed up and the state of play now is that, if Ireland don’t win on Tuesday against Serbia, they’ll more than likely be in third place assuming that Wales take care of business in Moldova.
From a position of absolute power and authority over our World Cup destiny, Martin O’Neill could eventually be looking for another favour off Georgia when Wales go there in October ahead of the final group game.
That’s happened for a multitude of reasons but, mostly, it’s happened because we’ve stopped playing football.
Listen, this isn’t some pontificating bullshit about how Ireland should suddenly pretend like they’re Spanish and go out and dominate teams. No-one really cares about direct football or defensive football if it’s effective football but the problem with the Irish right now is that there is no plan. There’s no plan apart from keeping it tight and hoping we get a stinking goal at the other end, exactly like Shane Duffy got on Saturday evening.
The most annoying thing is that they’ve shown they can play ball. Against Germany was the perfect example: of course they didn’t boss the game, of course possession was limited but, when they had it, they kept it, they found men, they worked things – they played bloody football – and it wasn’t a coincidence that Wes Hoolahan was forced to play the entire 90 minutes that night.
We’ve played some terrific stuff against Italy, against Sweden, even France but that’s probably owing more to the mindset that, once qualification is secured for major tournaments, Ireland let the shackles off because it’s generally seen as job done.
One-word player ratings to describe a terrible Ireland performance https://t.co/d9mCzCVc92
— SportsJOE (@SportsJOEdotie) September 2, 2017
There’s a fear that’s crippling this outfit at present. Even ahead of what should be looked at as a must-win game against Serbia on Tuesday night, Martin O’Neill is keen to hammer home his belief that they’re a “technically superior” side.
They might well be but so what? Does that mean that, when we have the ball, it is completely beyond the realms of possibility to actually do something with it? Like all the teams in this Group D, Serbia are far from world-beaters. It’s a group filled with middle-of-the-road outfits – and Georgia and Moldova – so even if you think that they’re “technically superior”, even if they are, they’re weak at something or most likely some things. Exploit it.
But we’ve stopped doing that. We lump ball with no purpose and no plan and we pick Glenn Whelan every single week as if we couldn’t possibly operate without him, despite him so obviously being either unavailable or dropped for some of the country’s finest performances.
Aston Villa fans are just the latest to experience the Whelan Effect as he shuffles around in front of the back four doing nothing. In the space of a month, the admittedly fickle fans there have transformed their thoughts on the Irish midfielder from being a shrewd signing to the feeling now that they’ve been sold a finished player. No, you haven’t bought a finished player, you bought Glenn Whelan. That’s what he does.
He’s been living off the idea he can ‘do a job’ for over 80 international caps or that he’s important for the team as the defensive shield but, whatever you think of his ability on the ball or his disinterest in actually getting on the ball, Whelan isn’t even good at the job he’s supposed to be good at.
In that clip from Saturday’s game, he lets the Georgian walk clear into the pocket with a free look at the box and the same man eventually sets up the equaliser despite Whelan’s efforts of sitting down on his arse.
Whilst his interceptions and tackle count might never make for great reading, football hipsters claim that it’s the passes that AREN’T made because of Whelan’s presence that make him so vital. Okay, let’s get one thing clear, those passes are always made.
Didi Hamann made a great point after the draw in Tiblisi claiming that Duffy and Clark or whoever is in the Irish defence make more mistakes because they have to defend for 90 whole minutes when other centre backs might only be called upon really for 15 or 20 minutes. At Ireland, it is constant bombardment and constant pressure.
A lot of that is because of how we’ve abandoned any attacking strategy. A lot of it is because men like Glenn Whelan aren’t doing the job that they’re said to be so effective at, stopping that damn ball coming in in the first place.
Whelan isn’t a shield for the back four as much as he’s a hologram sitting there letting plays pass through him.
It’s not necessary to get into what Ireland miss when they don’t play Wes Hoolahan but too many accept the garbage line that the playmaker can’t fulfill other duties – as if you’re losing something when you play him, as if it’s a risk.
What the hell is Whelan doing right now that Wes Hoolahan couldn’t do?
Of course, the next argument is Giovanni Trapattoni and Tony Pulis and Mark Hughes can’t be wrong. They can be wrong and they are wrong. Trapattoni never brought Seamus Coleman to Poland, Mark Hughes spent £19m on Jo and, Jesus Christ, Tony Pulis would play any footballer as long as they promised not to play football.
Men like Whelan – and he’s certainly not alone – are trusted in the top bracket because they can be trusted to just sit in a position. They might not offer very much when they’re there but they’ll be there and, for a lot of managers, that’s enough. They want bodies, they want guys who are less likely to cock up because they won’t look to do anything outlandish and, as simplistic as it might be, they want men who won’t vacate that position. They just want the channels covered and it doesn’t really matter who they get to do it – just someone disciplined. They’ll worry about the rest – the rest of playing football – when they get a set piece.
But maybe Glenn Whelan makes up for it in other ways.
But it's okay because he makes up for it with his distribution pic.twitter.com/AfDqzJGZ8a
— Conán Doherty (@ConanDoherty) September 2, 2017
The best thing you can say about that pass is that he put the ball exactly where he wanted to. The saddest thing is that where he wanted to put it was to absolutely no-one.
That’s your central midfielder. That’s Glenn Whelan. And, unfortunately, that’s Ireland at the minute.
