Search icon

Football

16th Jan 2016

Former Bayern defender has the piss ripped out of him on nightmare debut for Sunderland

Conan Doherty

Jan Kirchhoff, remember the name.

Because you might not see his face again.

Sam Allardyce is an old school manager. He’s proper hard. He’s proper English.

Tasked with steering Sunderland clear of the relegation zone, he’s been trying to ship this perception that the Stadium of Light is just cosy a retirement home for overpaid, overrated players. So he’s recruited some ruthless German efficiency as his first port of call.

Then, at 1-1, Big Sam sows his tactical nous.

He tries to shore up the defence and boldly see out the draw by bringing on a defender for Danny Graham – an alleged striker.

A minute later, his side concede.

21 minutes later, Sunderland have leaked three goals in total, two of which Jan Kirchhoff was directly responsible for as they went on and lost 4-1.

Wikipedia will genuinely tell you the facts of the matter.

Wiki

His first attempt to deny Christian Eriksen was, to quote Robbie Savage for the first and hopefully the last time ever, “pathetic”.

He couldn’t get out of the way of the Spurs midfielder’s effort quickly enough but it still deflected off him and went straight to the top corner. Despite the German’s worst efforts.

kirch1

kirchhoff2

No stomach for the fight. The question on everyone’s lips was simple.

Receipt

Then, the same boy concedes a penalty as Spurs left back Danny Rose nicks past him in the box.

Not even a half of football and the consensus is damning.

https://twitter.com/Ashleigh__x/status/688365781223084033

If you really think about it though, it was only two goals he was directly responsible for in just over half an hour. That’s a lot of football in between. REALLY think about it…

Silver lining.

Don’t blame Sam though.

The FootballJOE quiz: Were you paying attention? – episode 10