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03rd May 2016

Five reasons that made Liechester’s Disney fairytale come true

Soccer Guy

Dreams come true, even if you’re a fan of a real lame-ass soccer franchise.

Just take a look at what’s happened in the EPL League this year. After nearly getting their asses relegationized last time around, Liechester City Franchise Club proved that they’re the truth this year, winning the World Championship by doing real neat soccer.

Undeniafaibly one of the greatest soccer stories in the history of soccer history, for many guys in the UK, Britain and England it’s kinda being like a Disney movie.

Now with the Liechester guys all wearing EPL League World Championship rings on their fingers, here’s a look back at how they became the winningest franchise in England.

1. Casper Schmichael’s trying to prove himself to his dad

Kinda like the Lion King, Liechester’s goaltender had a point to prove to his dad.

After being real awesome for the Manchester Unity in the olden days, Pete Schmichaels (pictured below) never thought his kid was gonna be any good at soccer and so named him after a friendly ghost so people would laugh at how lame he was.

Jussi Jaaskelainen of Bolton

But despite all this, Casper has been real awesome this year, making hand denial after hand denial and making the Liechester danger box zone his very own Pride Rock.

Unlike the Lion King, Casper’s dad ain’t fallen to his death from some real high rock and been trampled on by a bunch of real ugly African cows.

2. The Hollywood factor

Way back at the start of the season, most Liechester fans still sucked. One guy that didn’t was Jamie Varney – who did such great soccer that some guy said he wanted to go make a movie about how he was lame but became real good.

Fleetwood Town FC Training Session

With the rest of the Liechester roster realizing that a movie would increase their chances of getting a move to Major League Soccer, they all worked even harder at soccer practice, helping Liechester move kick everyone’s asses real good.

3. Christian F-bomb’s American Dream

Most of Liechester’s guys will be hoping to make a move to the MLS right now, but one of their guys has also been motivationalized by playing another sport entirely.

Middlesbrough v Leicester City - Sky Bet Championship

Australian, cuss word-named soccer player Christian F-bomb admitted way back that he wanted to try out football, and hoped that his real nice kicks in the EPL League would help him show the football world that he can kick real good when the NFL come calling.

4. Where’s Morgan’s Three Lines dream

To win a soccer league, you gotta have good deefense, and the Liechester guys sure knew how to to outsoccer their opponents every time they stepped on to the soccer field.

As Hairy Redknapp pointed out, with the European World Championships coming up this summer, deefense guy Where’s Morgan has tried real hard to get his first call-up from Coach Hodgkins. Despite being one of the most awesome soccer players in his position the whole year, he’s still not got a shout out to go play for the Three Lines, which kinda sucks.

Jamie Redknapp

5. To see Gazza in his pants

As if the Liechester guys needed any more motivization to go win the EPL, Potato-Chip loving soccer show anchor Gary ‘Gazza’ Lineker said that he thought Liechester sucked and he’d go and do his show wearing nothing but his pants if they won the EPL Cup.

Paul Gascoigne of Tottenham Hotspur

Gazza, who used to play for the Tottenham Whitespurs, regularly used to celebrate goalshots by accidentally pooping himself on the soccer field. Let’s hope he’s got some fresh ones on the next time he does his show.

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