It’s the penultimate gameweek of this season of Fantasy Football and, with little to play for other than pride and avoiding Europa League football at all costs, the stats can go out the window.
Now it’s the time of year where teams are playing their last home game so we’ll be banking on (to borrow the phrase which has tumbled out of Brendan Rodgers mouth so often this year) character.
Teams will be looking to give their own fans something to shout about so this week’s edition of the Fantasy Football cheat sheet is based less on form and more on bottle.
Let’s do this!
Three players to sign
Steven Gerrard
Fixture: Liverpool v Crystal Palace
Price: 8.5m
Selected by: 3.3%
When Liverpool and Crystal Palace lock heads, expect goals. The last three Premier League fixtures between the sides have seen a whopping 14 goals so we’d be quite confident in saying that this won’t finish 0-0.
There are a number of factors at play for our selection of Stevie G for this week.
Firstly, it will be his last evening playing in the red of Liverpool in front of the Kop so he will be hell bent on making an impact. Whether that impact comes with a 30 second red card or an Olympiakos-esque screamer is yet to be known but we’re perpetual optimists so we’ll plump for the latter.
Secondly, he will be looking to add to the equaliser he scored last week against Chelsea. He’s proven that he still has the potential to show up in the important games so don’t expect him to wilt under the Anfield pressure.
Thirdly, Palace are prone to conceding a penalty as they’ve done so in their last two games. That’s likely the best way for Gerrard to get on the scoresheet so that wouldn’t surprise us in the least.
And lastly, Palace are undeniably on the beach with precisely zero points to show from their last four games. Alan Pardew is unpacking his Brylcreem and condoms while Wilfried Zaha and Julian Speroni are putting the net up for a cheeky game of volleyball.
Danny Ings
Fixture: Burnley v Stoke
Price: 5.5m
Selected by: 4.3%
As we’ve done on seemingly every Saturday morning of this indifferent season, we’ve juggled the prospect of drafting either Danny Ings or Charlie Austin into our team.
Both are cheap as chips and are scoring for fun so we’ve constantly been torn between the pair as to who’s the best candidate to partner the stalwart Aguero.
As mentioned in our justification for a ballsy Gerrard inclusion, this is the stage of the season where teams want to give their fans a memorable send-off, regardless of their place in the table.
With QPR and Burnley both playing their final home games this weekend and relegation sealed for both, it is the perfect time for both to play without pressure and make the home crowd proud.
The difference is that QPR are atrocious and Burnley are less atrocious, with more bottle than their London relegation compatriots.
Ings looked lively against Hull and scored the game winner which proves that he’s still fighting even if some of his teammates are not so we’re Team Danny all day long.
Pablo Zabaleta
Fixture: Swansea v Man City
Price: 6.4m
Selected by: 5.2%
We’ll admit that we could be using a little bit of cynicism in our selection of Pablo Zabaleta.
Swansea manager Garry Monk has readily admitted that he doesn’t have the squad to compete in the Europa League next season yet his side are sat in eighth spot, in serious danger of breaking into seventh if they keep collecting points.
We’re not saying that the Swans will be trying to lose but we’re just wondering if they’re that bothered any more.
In their seven meetings since Swansea’s 2011 promotion, City have kept four clean sheets so the inclusion of one of Manuel Pellegrini’s defenders makes sense to us.
And Zabaleta is arguably the biggest attacking threat among City’s back line with his proclivity for overlapping and whipping in dangerous crosses.
City will not want to relinquish second spot so will simply have more impetus about them come Sunday afternoon and the fact that Pablo means “points” in Spanish must be a good omen. (That’s real, don’t look into that. Just trust us!)
Three players to sell
Tim Krul
Fixture: QPR v Newcastle
Price: 4.4m
Selected by: 12.7%
Operation Ditch-All-Newcastle-Players has been well and truly underway over the past few weeks as we’ve said goodbye to Papiss Cisse, Moussa Sissoko and Daryl Janmaat.
Now it’s time for the last line of defence to get the hell out of any Fantasy Football team that are foolish enough to have soldiered on with him. By the way, the fact that 12.7% of you have selected him was enough to make me spit my tea out over my keyboard.
Newcastle are dead bottom of the form table and the last time that Tim Krul managed a clean sheet was some time back in the 90s when his hair was fashionable so we say “be gone” to the Dutchman.
They are playing QPR at the weekend who clearly aren’t the most dangerous opponents in the world but, hey, it’s Newcastle. John Carver’s side have the tendency to make Leicester look like Barcelona.
John O’Shea
Fixture: Sunderland v Leicester & Arsenal v Sunderland
Price: 4.6m
Selected by: 7.5%
It saddens us to ruthlessly distance ourselves from an Irish international but the time has come unfortunately.
It’s also unusual for us to pick against a player from a team who are playing a double gameweek because it normally gives sides twice the chance to get some points on the board but not all sides are as typically unbackable as Sunderland.
The Black Cats don’t normally turn up unless they’re playing Newcastle and neither of their games this gameweek are at St. James Park so we must say “Slán leat” to a certain John O’Shea.
The Waterford man is the single-most selected player in the Sunderland squad but it’s just too difficult to predict which Sunderland will show up for any given game. Will it be the gutless eleven that conceded four at home to Crystal Palace or will it be the defiant team that put Everton to the sword last week?
It’s just too big a risk and, with Dick Advocaat’s side playing two of the top four in the Premier League form table, we just can’t take the gamble.
Stewart Downing
Fixture: West Ham v Everton
Price: 5.9m
Selected by: 18.8%
We fear that those 18.8% among you have Stewart Downing in your FF team due to the fact that you’ve not updated your side since New Years Eve.
Downing was very much a regular in our team during the first half of the year after he racked up an impressive 115 points.
But since the turn of the year, the winger has contributed just 53 meaning that he’s truly come off the boil.
West Ham literally have nothing to play for right now and aren’t bothered with this whole goal lark, having scored just one in their last four.
And despite playing the full 90 in each of West Ham’s last nine games, Downing hasn’t offered a single goal or assist so we’re emphatically saying that we’re done with the Englishman who is truly showing his Liverpool form.
