Ah, Premier League football, how we have missed ye.
After a mad few days of European nonsense, we’re back with the important stuff.
We’re taking it as red that you’re well aware of the sham known as the Capital One Cup final so will be ahead of the game in getting rid of the Hazards, Kanes and Kyle Walker if you were ever mental enough to include him in your team.
Three players to sign
Philippe Coutinho
Fixture:Â Liverpool v Manchester City
Price: 7.7m
Selected by: 5.0%
OK, we’ll bite the bullet and concede that we waited far too long to include the crafty Brazilian in our team but, hey, at least we’re man enough to admit it.
Coutinho is one of few players that Brendan Rodgers rested for the entirety of their loss on penalties to Besiktas on Thursday night so his legs will be grand and fresh to torment a City backline who must still be getting over their dizzy spell after being run ragged by a romping Leo Messi and (almost) chomping Luis Suarez on Tuesday.
If Liverpool are to break into the top-four in the coming months then the praise will have to be split between Coutinho and Raheem Sterling who have kept Liverpool afloat this season.
We reckon that Coutinho will find himself in the similar space he found himself in against Southampton before he fires a goalbound shot past the indifferent closing down of the defender formally known as Vincent Kompany. First goalscorer 9/1, yes please.
Marcos Rojo
Fixture:Â Manchester United v Sunderland
Price: 5.8m
Selected by: 0.9%
“A United defender?” I hear you scoff. Well scoff no more as we’re confident of raking in the points with Marcos Rojo this weekend.
There are many things you could call Sunderland this season but a goal-threat is not one of them.
When Jermain Defoe is your main front-man in 2015, it’d be hard to blame a defence for feeling relatively safe.
Gus Poyet’s side have scored just ten goals in their last 15 Premier League games which will hardly have David de Gea quaking in his tiny little beard.
Sunderland are the perfect side for Louis van Gaal against whom to regain that elusive momentum which is so sought-after around Old Trafford and the Red Devils face Newcastle next week who are just as misfiring as their North-Eastern brethren so we could be seeing two consecutive home clean sheets for United for the first time since late November.
Romelu Lukaku
Fixture: Arsenal v Everton
Price: 8.8m
Selected by: 7.4%
Risky one this considering Lukaku has been deadly in Europe but dead-on-his-arse domestically. Hhe has to come good eventually (famous last words for a fantasy football manager).
The big flippin’ Belgian had enough chances against Leicester last week to score a hat-trick and still offer a goal to Kevin Mirallas but he squandered everything that came his way.
But we reckon that he’s seen how Arsenal can be beaten at the Emirates and will follow Monaco’s blueprint of absorbing non-stop pressure from an overly offensive Wenger selection before catching the not-bothered defence on the counter.
We see Arsenal coming out with a point to prove by blazing the ball over the crossbar at will for the opening fifteen minutes before former Spurs man Aaron Lennon uses his pace to make Per Mertesacker look slower than a season-ticket sell-out at the Emirates. Romelu Lukaku is bound to find himself in the centre after one of the Toffees wingers’ attacks and he can punish Arsenal’s lack of determination to chase down runners.
Lukaku has scored in two of his last three matches against the Gunners so he’s also got previous.
Three players to sell
Pablo Zabaleta
Fixture: Liverpool v Manchester City
Price: 6.4m
Selected by: 5.0%
Like our nightclub fantasy, we’re expecting to see a leggy Argentinian this weekend.
Zabaleta is probably still having nightmares about Messi’s backside racing away from him and he looked exhausted by the end of the 90 minutes on Tuesday, conceding the injury-time penalty.
It’s going to be Raheem Sterling this time who will be turning Zabaleta inside out and it’s almost a guarantee for him to pick up a booking on Sunday morning.
Liverpool have scored 13 goals at home in their last five games so we anticipate Joe Hart being a busy man and a clean sheet for Man City is unlikely.
Graziano Pelle
Fixture: West Brom v Southampton
Price: 7.7m
Selected by: 13.6%
Would you believe that Graziano Pelle hasn’t scored a Premier League goal since December 20? Well believe it baby ‘cos we’ve done the Googlin’.
The Italian looks like he’s still getting over his Christmas dinner and has scored more than two points just once in 2015.
West Brom haven’t conceded a goal in any of their last three games while Southampton have scored just two in their four games this month. Safe to say this has 0-0 written all over it.
If you’re one of the brave 13.6% who have soldiered on with Pelle through this dry run, bless your cotton socks but the time has come to show him the door.
Gylfi Sigurdsson
Fixture:Â Burnley v Swansea
Price: 6.5m
Selected by: 24.6%
“Hey Graziano, don’t close the door, Gylfi’s on his way out too.”
Another mainstay in our team of the first half of the season, Sigurdsson’s form since the turn of the year has been about as hot as an Icelandic beach party.
He hasn’t scored or registered an assist since 29 December and we don’t see him picking up that record on Saturday afternoon.
Hard to predict which Burnley will turn up on Saturday; the terrible one or the slightly less terrible one.
Presumably it’d be the latter after Sean Dyche had his side rearing to go as they came up with a fantastic performance/wind-up at Stamford Bridge last weekend and they look likely to frustrate the Swans too.
