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Football

10th Mar 2021

You’re Erling Haaland – choose your next club

Simon Lloyd

You’re Erling Haaland. Time to find out which club you should play for next

Well, Erling Haaland. It’s time to make your mind up.

Yes, your time at Borussia Dortmund has been brief, but each and every one of us knew this was only a temporary thing; a stepping stone to (perhaps) greater things elsewhere.

With your name rarely sliding out of the transfer gossip columns since… well, the day you arrived at Dortmund, it’s time to put the rumours to bed and decide where exactly you’ll be banging in the goals for the next few years.

But how, you might ask, are you supposed to decide? Pretty much every major club on the continent is already sniffing around and you’re spoilt for choice.

Luckily, you’re in just the right place. Using sophisticated scientific methods*, we’ve devised a quick set of questions which will help determine the ideal club for you based purely on your personality. Most questions relate to your footballing preferences; others are more about your lifestyle away from the pitch.

You are mere seconds away from learning where you’ll be plying your trade next.

You’re welcome, Erling.

Choose your next club

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You're Erling Haaland - choose your next club I'm %%personality%%

*A lie. Obviously no scientific methods were actually used.

 

The FootballJOE quiz: Were you paying attention? – episode 10