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Football

26th Jun 2018

If you’re not a fan of Ronaldo, you couldn’t be a fan of football

Conan Doherty

Back in April, after the most potent goalscorer of all time lifted himself six feet into the Turin sky and executed one of the most perfect, most clean, most audacious strikes of all time, a text message came through.

Ronaldo was just in the middle of hammering through the Champions League knockout stages yet again – gunning down the best teams in Europe yet again – but, on this night, he produced something special even for him as he seemingly froze mid-air, horizontal with the ground, lined up a bad cross like he was looking through the aimer of an assault rifle with his left leg and then caught it so purely with his right laces that you were left wondering if a ball will ever be met as sweetly ever again.

But just seconds after the world stopped, jaws dropped and presumably more babies were in the midst of being conceived, one WhatsApp line probably summed up a large portion of the footballing world.

“I hate the man but that was something else.”

If you hate Cristiano Ronaldo, you’re not a fan of football.

If you think Lionel Messi not impressing in a no-hope circus side is some sort of proof that he’s not all that, you’re an idiot.

We’re talking about the two greatest players on earth, ever. To appreciate one, you don’t have to pretend like the other is shit.

But as much glee as people take in highlighting Ronaldo’s vanity – as if it takes anything away from him, as if that remarkable conviction isn’t part of the attraction – and as much as some even love to laugh when he misses or they somehow try to pick holes in the guts of 700 goals – you’ve an awful lot of picking to do there – it’s no different the other way. Some fans of Ronaldo feel as though they gain something by constructing Lionel Messi shortcomings.

After another Argentina calamity at this World Cup, an extraordinary number of people latched onto a reported Diego Simeone WhatsApp about Messi.

“Messi is very good but he’s very good because he has extraordinary teammates,” the voice message read.

“And the question I ask you: If you had to choose between Messi and Ronaldo for a regular team, who would you choose?”

And because someone else said it, that’s it – treated as argument over.

Even if Diego Simeone did say that, why does it make it any less of a nonsense statement?

It’s the equivalent of a dick head coming into a comments section on Facebook thinking he has the casting vote because he’s the fan of a rival team and therefore has no vested interest in the subject. ‘Loris Karius is world class… and I’m an Everton fan’.

Right. Okay. You’re an Everton fan but you’re still talking bollocks. You might as well have clarified your point with, ‘I’m a vegetarian’.

Diego Simeone is a good manager, his fiercest rivals are Real Madrid and, even after all that, he can still recognise that Ronaldo is a good player. Imagine that. But he can also just as easily spout rubbish too, you know.

Messi has a band of extraordinary team mates around him, yes. But Messi is the extraordinary player in a team of extraordinary players and he has always dealt with the pressure of being the best of the best.

He’s the greatest all-round attacker in the world, for God’s sake. And, get this, he’s the most beautiful footballer of all time.

Ronaldo? Well, he just so happens to be the most effective footballer of all time. That’s why he can drag a worse team on his back.

They’re both class. They’re both the best. And it’s sad that you have to keep reminding some people that they’re both the greatest of all time.

The FootballJOE quiz: Were you paying attention? – episode 10