Good dribbler, shame about the lack of toilet training.
Was there anything more exciting as a kid than that predictable rumour that a scout (usually from Celtic or Coventry, for some reason) was going to be at you match at the weekend?
Who cared if you couldn’t trap a bag of cement and you were as slow as soil creep, if this mythical human saw you wander aimlessly around midfield in a third division under-14 match you were sure to be handed a contract at Parkhead.
At least we were old enough to know what a scout was. At least we were old enough to know what a football was.
According to Harry Redknapp – a man who knows a thing or two about scouting – children as young as TWO are now being “scouted” by professional clubs.
In his Daily Telegraph column Redknapp relays an unsettling story about the punts scouts are now willing to take on children who are barely old enough to speak.
“On Sunday I watched my grandson Harry play football for his team in the morning, as I always do.
“A scout from one of the country’s top clubs was there and approached two parents, giving them a card and telling them to call him when their son became five years old. The lad concerned is only two!
“If he turns out to be the next Gareth Bale then that scout is a genius, but come on! I realise there is now a massive focus on recruitment but that is absolutely crazy.”
#Blackrock pic.twitter.com/EvMAYgLf3F
— Mikey Stafford (@me_stafford) January 30, 2016
Clearly, there are rugby folk of a similar mindset in Dublin.
God-given talent may be apparent from an early age, but it seems a little juvenile to try and sign toddlers.