If you’re going to get shouted at for unnecessary look-away passes, you might as well do it in style.
Sick of getting lost in a sea of Liverpool and United jerseys at your local astroturf pitch? Well then bite the bullet and purchase one of these bad boys to set yourself apart from the crowd at your weekly five-a-side match.
ADO Den Haag
This Eredivisie outfit’s shirt looks a bit like an old school Norwich City jersey that ran in the wash… in a good way.
Alianza Lima
The oldest team in the Peruvian First division have a rather modern-looking third kit for this campaign.
Bhutan
Yes they have a football team.
Carpi
Barely anyone will have heard of the Serie A newcomers let alone have their 80s-inspired shirt.
Deportivo Cali
You don’t see too many diagonal stripes on jerseys these days, but this Columbian side managed the tricky design right in our book.
Eintracht Braunschweig
If the majority of your teammates can’t pronounce the club’s name, odds are they’re not going to own the top.
FBC Melgar
Down GAA should take a leaf out of this Peruvian club’s book.
FC Carl Zeiss Jena
A metalcore band t-shirt artfully disguised as a fourth-tier German football club jersey. A must have for any metalheads/football fanatics out there.
Fort Lauderdale Strikers
The beauty of this kit is that you get to watch as the cheerful expression on your friends’s faces slowly disappears as you explain to them that it’s not a Catalunya kit, it’s actually an NASL team who are part-owned by Ronaldo, but not that Ronaldo.
That’ll show them for being polite.
Fortuna Dusseldorf
One of the many aesthetically pleasing jerseys from Germany’s second tier.
Houston Dynamo
Not a conventional MLS team for an Irish person to adopt as their own, but they certainly have one of the more eye-catching kits.
Chiapas FC
It’s got a jaguar on the front, what more could you possibly want?
Kashima Antlers
Probably the least J-League looking jersey in the Japanese top flight. Could easily pass for an obscure Eastern European club with a kit like that.
Las Palmas
For the ostentatious five-a-sider who wears loud apparel to hide the fact that they are actually lacking quite a bit in the talent department. There’s always one.
Maccabi Tel Aviv
Admittedly not as fun to say as fellow Israeli side Maccabi Haifa, but Tel Aviv’s back-to-basics jersey is just that little bit nicer.
Molde FK
Norway’s finest.
O’Higgins FC
They may sound like an Irish junior soccer team, but O’Higgins FC actually play in the top tier of Chilean football. Their name comes from one of the country’s founding fathers, Bernardo O’Higgins who had ancestral roots in Sligo.
Orlando Pirates
A weak effort from Kaizer Chiefs this year sees the Pirates enter our list as the designated South African team.
Persiba Balikpapan
Full name: Persatuan Sepak Bola Indonesia Balikpapan, but you’ll know them as that Indonesian Premier League team with the Rugby League-esque shirts.
Rayados Monterrey
Like a swankier West Brom jersey.
Sassuolo Calcio
Another one for fans of lesser known Serie A clubs.
Seongnam FC
Have fun trying to convince everyone that you’re wearing a K-League Classics jersey and not a professional Darts player’s polo shirt.
Sparta Praha
Czech this out! *laughs hysterically while obnoxiously elbowing everyone in sight
Stade Malherbe Caen
Nothing says hipster like Ligue 1 mid-table fodder. It’s also one of those rare jerseys you can get away with wearing on a golf course.
I once shot four birdies and an albatross at Carton House while donning a Celtic jersey. They took the gun off me and told me never to come back.
Didn’t even mention the attire.
Sturm Graz
Now, I’m very aware of the fact that this jersey is an absolute monstrosity, but you can always use it to implement the “blind the opposition on your way to victory” method.
Urawa Red Diamonds
Another gem from the J-League.
Vancouver Whitecaps
It’s difficult to make white jerseys look interesting, but this MLS effort has enough going on to set itself apart from the others.
