1. When you finally catch a whiff of the reason your mate is giggling to himself
2. When your Tinder date reveals that their long-term ambition is to bathe in the blood of Christ
3. When you make a killer joke in the group chat and show your partner how funny you are
“…yeah.”
4. When the menu gave no indication of how hot the Thai green curry is
5. When you blow your wildcard too soon and fuck up the first half of your FPL season
6. When you’re acting like a big man in the pub and the 15-stone, 6ft 2 bloke taps you on the shoulder
7. When your partner asks if you saved them any dinner
8. When one of your mates is getting completely burned in the group chat
9. When you run into someone you used to know and they suggest going for a drink sometime
10. When your lunch hour suddenly gets cut down to 5 minutes
11. When you get a rubbish present but overdo the fake gratitude
12. When the last game of your accumulator goes to penalties
13. When you realise the eight pints of stout and dodgy kebab last night were probably a bad idea
14. When the waiter clears your plate away but you still had a few chips left
15. When you think about all the Man United fans who said Pogba was definitely worth the £89 million
16. Whenever anyone challenges your manhood
Sure, mate. Sure.
17. When someone asks you to do your Donald Trump impression
Photo credit: Sky Sports
